Dr Raymond Lim is a pretty nice guy...:) But he is abit like wad JinZhao said... Sort sort one... Yesterday was the first time i met him... but he treated us to food and drinks... That's ok cause Mdm Seetoh does that too... But he even help me with SAP and CAP.... And this stupid me thought that staff needs to pay money... but in the end.... no need.... I always thought it's special discount or something like that lahx.... Yah lolx...

And yesterday I found out that I got 4 decayed tooth! OMG!!!! I brush everyday can!!! And I thought it was just a normal SAP but in the end he also help me with a CAP... Yah... 4 decayed tooth! 晴天霹雳! it's not that I don't brush... and I got gums inflamation lehx... Phew... it's a good thing i let him do a check up... if not all my teeth is going to die liao... next time you see me in dentures... HAHA....

Anyway... Dr Raymond is very nice doctor.... he was joking throughout and we did chat... haha... Not much doctor chat with their staff... and yesterday was the first time I assited the doctor cause the dental assistant was on the chair doing the SAP... and one thing 手忙脚乱.... I don't know all the things and any thing... haha... I think that leaves a bad impression of me for him.... haha...

So I came back and told my sis this doctor is abit of over-friendly... and then her comment was... not friendly you also complain... over friendly you also complain.... hahah.... I think I am a complain queen.... WHeee.... I hope to see him again... and this time maybe thank him in a more sincre way... cause I only said a thank you yesterday for the much he do.... HAHA...

New Year wasn't as bad as i thought it would be... but something unbelievable is that I fell asleep in my grandma house... haha... while listening to Mayday's song... Can you believe? It's mayday's song!! They are suppose to be high and rock... I think I was really tired that day... haha... then day 2 I went to my uncle house... and then watch the 百万小学堂... I was like OMG! I can't even answer simple questions... haha... No face man... A-level graduate leh.... Cannot ans pri school questions... Sobs... I need to start eating up my books... Haha... Jk lahx... But it's time to start the engines going... :)

Oh... did I mention before my nephew is damn cute? I find him cuter this time round I saw him... Baby Nathaniel (I supposed its spelt like that) I shall put the pics up next post which is like donno when... HAHAHA! My niece also very cute... But she is not photogenic and I realise that Grace(my niece) looks like Kerning(my doctor's daugther) and Grace seldom talk... But when she talk her voice is damn cute! Kids mahx... Haha... And she don't cry... Cause that time at my grandma house... the dad call her go take drink for him... then she take the wrong one... the everyone around the table was like OOOOO.... then she immediately run to the father and hug him... if it's other kids i think cry liao... she is like only 2... haha... Back to Nathaniel.... He looks totally like his dad.... but much cuter version... and he looks like he walked out of some cartoon.... he got a very cartoon face... and he like to stick his tongue out(DAMN CUTE!) So day 2 i was busy taking pic of him... but i didn't manage to get ANY pic with him looking at the camera!!! Everytime I snap.. he turn away... haha... also because my camera is slow... zzzzz.....

Ok... My purpose for today's post.... Make a guess... well.... I said I won't blog about work cause it's full of complains... and I just met one 2 days ago... if you wanna know and hear me talk on and on... you can ask me out of a lunch or a dinner... But you must be quick... cause I will forget about the incident soon... recently have dementia symptoms... Haha...

Yah... Purpose... I always talk on and on without getting straight to point I found out... haha.... the first paragraph is usually not my main topic... LOL.... THIS IS NOT GP!!! Diaoz.... Ok Ok.... Purpose of this post... I am putting a video here... That's all! Haha... No need to make a guess wad video you guys should also know lahx... Who else's video would I put up here... Haha...

Here it goes....



Eh... This is a disgrace as a fan... but till now then I know that JJ's Sirname is LIM and not LIN.... although I have always thought it was LIM cause not alot of ppl in singapore with sirname 林 spelt as LIN more are LIM or LAM.... yah.... So... There is also a period of time I am wondering if his sir name was LAM.... But the WAYNE I knew it all along... It was in his IC. Not that I've seen it before... But I just know lahx... Wayne is his registered name.... So now I know that his sirname is splet as LIM... I am wondering... How his name is spelt.... LIM JUNJIE? LIM CHUNKIAT? --> You know... Ppl of his era don't use han yu pin yin... Ok... Wait... Why am I wondering all this lameo things???

And I feel like buying his gai ban... I shouldn't have bought the first one... I know I would regret... but I just don't want to download his songs illegally and I can't wait until now lahx... Haiz... and the gai ban one look so attractive.... Sobs... Should I buy? oh... and can some one accompany me to his auto session? I want his signature.... the last time I got is was like... 2005? or 2006... I can't even remember.... WAHHHAAAA....

I know i said barely one week ago that I won't update my blog on work cause it's all going to be complains... But this time I can't help it... I would never ever wanna work sat at JE branch anymore... Kaoz... Is busy until pi pi cua lah.... Haiz... and the person there the face like just came out from a toilet full of shit can... I don't like her the moment she opened her mouth.... Hmm... Now I know how first impression of someone works... But I am not going to swear here that I won't work JE sat... cause No.1 I am going next sat (hope it is going to be the last sat) and there might be days in the future that I have no choice... I am not going to accept anymore saturday work with 3 doctors!!!

Anyway... I donno why is there a sudden urge to blog about this particular incident... Yah... I think I too bored liao... And I bought a new shoe!!! WHeeee.... it's flats... Is ppl's jaws dropping? Haha... don think so lahx... But i can see the 女大18变effect on me now... NOOOOOO..... Cause this year my CNY clothes are all dress and skirt.... OMG! *Faints*

Hmm... I am not here to update about my life recently... cause it's just work and play... Muahhhahaa.... Unless you want to hear about my complains on patients am doctors... Yah lahx... I don't think anyone wants lahx...

So... My motive... I am embbing a vedio here... instead next time I wanna watch cannot find... recently the vedios I wanna watch I can't find on youtube... zzzz.... yup... It's a pretty nice video (my personal view lah) and pretty hilarious... and its not hard to guess whose video I am putting up here... lalalalala... :D

Last Sunday (31 Jan 2010) was JY & Candyce's wedding. Don't know who they are? It's ok... Cause they are not the reason why I post this video up anyway... haha... So during their wedding.... A special guest send then a well wishes video clip and then suddenly appear at the place shocking the newly-weds. The groom was like crying non-stop... And the special guest... is SO KAWAIIIIIII..... in the clip =DDDD






I like the first one particularly... Cause I think you would never see him sooo... lame (not really the word lah) and the 经典expressions... I like the part where he tell JY: Be a man.. More man than me.... ******** then he ask the person filming 那天会有媒体吗? Then the person was like 当然!!! After that his expression damn funny... Actually... you can actually read his lips to what he was saying in the censored part... :) I shall not write it here... But I know what he said... Muahhahaa.... I first time I saw these video I was smiling non-stop... (I wasn't laughing out loud LOL) Oh... there's a comment on youtube saying... Since he say cannot put... why is it here... -_-''' Anyway... I think I am going to be the only one getting excited watching this video anyway... LALALALA....

But if this type suprise happens during my wedding I think I will cry like some tap water lahx... diaox... maybe not... who knows... wait till my wedding bells ring then... haha... JJ is so sweet towards his friends... :)

ONe more thing... I think I must be mad man.... working like shit and hell and got my pay... THEN... I went to buy MAYDAY CONCERT TICKETS... 我的头壳坏掉了! I think I must be mad.... $168!!!! 贵死了！贵死了！Luckily I got some subsidies from my sis (who is the 罪魁祸首）that in the end I only pay 120... but still alot of money nia!!! I think last week I fever until my brain burn until I become sotong already... throw my hard-earn money away... sobbsss....

I remember listing out a number of things to do after A-levels... But i barely done half of it... I am too lazy.... but at least I got a job... beats rotting at home... but my pay is damn miserable... So... I was complaining to Veron about it... and then she was like... what for you wanna work so much? We work now is to kill time, you are not trying to earn as much money as you can now you know... this period may be the last time you can actually sit down relax and enjoy the day... Alf said the same thing too... hmm... but i am enjoying too much that recently, my thoughts keep running wild... I really need things to do to divert that attention... :(

And that topic is some thing i don't wish to think or talk about until march... you guys should know what is it for I know that I am not going to be happy that day... And recently while mass applying for jobs, ppl call and assumed that I can work until july... they are not wrong... but the more call on this I pick up... I can't help but think... where do I really want to go for the next phase of my journey...

I have always insisted that I want to be a physiotherapist... but I am not closed to any other options... just because physiotherapy is a diploma course... I spoke to my mum about it... but she dosen't seems to like the idea of me going to poly... neither do my friends... some think it's ok... some think it's a waste of time... so now... I am really stuck between choices.... I don't want to make anymore regretting choices... I don't want people to influence my choice... but now I am really messed up... to this particular question that many calls I pick up recently never fail to ask.

"When can you work until?"

Should I say April... or should I say June??? What should I say? This may sound pretty lame to many... but to me... it's 矛盾

我的矛盾 你了解吗？
我不想再做让我后悔的选择
我不想再让痛苦卷土重来

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT AM I FEELING NOW??

Anyway... I actually only wanted to talk about my shoe... Complaining before I talk about my main subject seems to be a routine for blogging... anyway... Yup... shoe.... I WANNA BUY A HIGH CUT SHOE!!! Anyone got lobang? or know where you can get high-cut sneakers of reasonable price? You know... I am not trying to buy a brand... I am just trying to buy a shoe of good quality... so ppl... please don't tell my converse... for I think... for the case of converse... I am buying their brand... not their quality... So... I e-mailed SMG.... they have high-cut sneakers by greedt genius... but it sells freakingly at SGD135!!! OMG... I am not buying gold... anyway... even if I want... they wouldn't have my size... cause they only sell men's size UK9-12... my feet not that big lah....

Oh yah.... I just found out yesterday... JJ Lin clubs@ REBEL!!! (Shocking) Haha... REBEL was the club or bar or I donno what that we went the other day... the dance floor is a cage... haha... No wonder REBEL rings a bell in my head... Now I know why I find then REBEL logo so familiar... :)

Sometimes I tend to regret taking up the job at Q&M... Cause the working hours make it difficult for me to look for another job... Yes. I do like that job cause it's pretty manual and although the pay isn't good, but as I have been saying, I work not because I wanna earn money (well... not piority) but is to earn work exprience. So pay dosen't really matter to me as long as I am sure that I am not underpaid... yup...

But now that Q&M work really walk into Ad-hoc basic... (PS: I only work mon and thurs this week!!!) I feel that it time to look for another job... then I realised that I can't cause the working hours cannot come into terms... most office hours ends at 6 but my work at Q&M starts at 6. I don't know how to teleport you see... yup... so now i have became a half 事业人士...

Haiz... and due to my principles and other factors, I am unwilling to give up the job at Q&M although I don't really like the Dr and staff there... but this is just part and parcel of the working society... so... I am quite fustrated at this moment... I have been on job central for the past two days but no one called back and there is not much jobs that I can make an agreement with both sides....

Also, I wanna volunteer at SGH but now that our card is changed to adult fare, going down to SGH with my miserable pay from Q&M, I find it very bo hua leh... so if i could find a job by this week, I will volunteer myself at SGH. If not... I can try to think of other ways bahx...

说一声加油一切更美好
所有的悲伤请往边靠
曾流过的泪
湿了伤口就让
阳光嗮干而褪

这一种加油人人都需要
手牵手我们一起赛跑
说好不见不散
每分每秒守候你到老

歌名：加油！
作词人：林俊杰
作曲人：林俊杰

这首歌送给所有需要加油的朋友 加油！GAMBATTE!

btw, this is not the full song... it's the chorus only... Anyway... ppl you should listen to JJ's new album 100days.... Cause this is the first time I like the whole album of a singer, all the songs (except one song lah... make a guess which one) and I think it's a very well done album. 不亏是经过挫折后的产品:))

Anyway, don't know where to listen the songs? It's right here in my blog... see that i donno what on the left hand side of this post below my profile? click them... you can get a sneak preview of his songs... if not, you can go youtube, haoting, or wadever music channels you have... 一张值得期待 不辜负众望 的完美专辑。

林俊杰- 100天 加油!

Argh! I just missed the opportunity to earn a 1.5 times pay just because I forgot tml is FRIDAY!!! I keep thinking that tml is SAT and I am going sentosa tml... ZZzzzz.... Thanks lah... There goes my pay...

Anyway... It's new year's eve... I shall blog about happy events instead of angry ones... haha... this year... I am counting down at home... that's pretty pathetic... but somehow... as I grow older... festive seasons dosen't mean as much as before... In the past... if someone forgets my birthday... I might be quite sad... and I remember it's very silly of me one year that my family could not get a cake for my birthday and I cried... -_-''' Now... even if anyone forgets my birthday... I find it ok... no cake? Fine... haha... Same goes for chinese new year... in the past new year always means new clothes and pretty dress... but now... the rxn would be... New Year? Huh... have to go shopping again... haiz... Same goes for new year... in the past i use to love count down... but now... 3, 2, 1! Happy new year.... *handshake* *a hug* say goodbye... yah...

回顾这一段完美的人生（2009):

今年不是我风光的一年
走过大大小小的路
经历大大小小的挫折
至今有些还无法平复
当然的
今年也因为不风光
所以也让我看到了自己的软弱
自己不为人知的一面
我做了一个自己在从前都觉得自己不会是的那种人

2009 给了我一上了一个宝贵的人生课
让我感觉在今年以前 我都活在自己的世界里
自己那完美的世界里

2009 让我犯了人类的七大罪名
Extravagance （奢华）
Greed (贪污）
Acedia （忽略）
Despair （不满）
Warth (愤怒）
Envy （嫉妒）
Pride （自尊）

以前我不在乎奢华享受
只想安安分分的过日子
虽然觉得我拥有的不多
但不觉得缺了什么
但现在不一样了
我想要的我会想办法得到
明明不缺什么
但想要更多
名牌货 看上眼了
冒牌货 歧视了
可能是因为长大了吧

贪污 我可能改善了吧
我没有以前那样贪污的念头
嗯 这是好事
也应该是我今年唯一的好事

我今年忽略的人实在太多了
明知道被忽略的感觉是什么
但还是无法不经意的忽略了别人
现在关系僵了
话也无从说起
那句我一直想说的道歉也说不出口了
我忽略了家人的关心感受
我忽略了朋友对我的好意

今年我不满的事情实在太多了
说个两天也说不完吧
我不满家人对我的不了解
但现在我知道他们才是最了解我的人
我不满朋友对我的忽略
但现在的我知道她们并没有想要这么做
她们并不是没有敞开胸怀的接受我
而是我自己没有敞开胸怀的接受她们

今年令我愤怒的事情也很多
我愤怒自己不重用
愤怒自己的愚蠢 自己的自私
我愤怒家人对我没有信心
愤怒他们这样的贬低我

我不相信人没有嫉妒心
以前的我 有嫉妒心 但是良性的嫉妒
今年的我 也有嫉妒心 但是恶性的
我今年的嫉妒心真的让我看清楚我邪恶的那一面
那样恐怖的我 我是第一次看见
这嫉妒让我觉得我很坏 很邪恶
我不想再面对着样的我了
它让我觉得以前的我根本就在演戏
让我觉得真正的我不是善良 好相处
而是邪恶有动机 随时会在你背后捅你一刀的那种人
我真的无法相信我既然会是这一种人

每个人都有自尊 我当然也有
我今年因该没犯这样的罪吧
有也不记得了

所以2009
我虽然痛恨这一年
因为它带给我的痛苦很难忍受
但我也要感谢2009
它让我看清我的世界不是只有我一个
我的世界不是完美无缺
它让我看清我并不单纯
让我上了宝贵的课

不要再见了2009
也谢谢你给我18年一帆风顺的人生起一个波浪 让我在踏入社会之前感受到低潮 挫折 无助 的时候

GOODBYE 2009!!
WELCOME 2010!!

我想和吴慧敏 卢家慧 梁诗韵 曾庆文 胡立轩做永远的好朋友！我2010年唯一的愿望！

I am BACK from Thailand! Haha... It wasn't as fun as i expected it to be... but overall... it was ok... Pics... I am debating again whether i should put it on facebook or blogger... I tried on blogger and the freaking com... disconnected.... so... I didn't manage to post some of the pics here... You guys would be shocked how clear the water is man... haha... i shall post it another day then... then i tell you my journey to thailand... haha...

Anyway... I had a pleasant surprise on departure day (17/12)... Make a guess who I saw in Changi Airport on departure? I saw an artiste... I hope it's JJ.... but too bad... he wasn't.... haha... But i do somehow... like them... is a them... 2 person to be specific... haha.... Anyway... I don't think anyone will care who i saw lahx... But I am just happy that this is the first time I saw an international artiste in the airport... Haha... Oh yah... I haven't say who I saw... I saw 2 members of Fahrenheit... Arron Yan and Jiro Wang (I suppose it's Jiro cause my subconcious tells me it's calvin).... Yup... No idea why they are in Singapore... but they are leaving for Taiwan... It's purely coincidental that i saw them... and it's my mum who saw two suspicious looking character and ask me if it's them... lol... if not i think i will just walk pass them without noticing... Then my mum suggested to take photo with them... actually I want... but I don dare... cause it's like so damn 丢脸 lahx... I also donno why i will feel embarassed... Haha... then I told my sis when we came back and she ask... even if you really wanna take pic with them... do you think they will accept? Coming to think of it... Well... maybe not... haha...

So this is my pleasant surprise i had on departure day.... Haha... my trip to thailand.... next post together with pics bah.... :)

Then after the trip... I went back to work... announced the end of my training... which means that now I am only working night shift 6-9 and it's not everyday... So i am looking for another job... which has flexible working hours or normal working hours from 8-5.... Went to job central... applied for an admin job... the person called... I was so tempted to take up the job cause it's for the govt and armed forces (ppl who is close enough to me will know that I somehow... in one way or another admires armed forces... and sometimes goes abit over) and the place not very far away.... I was about to say yes... when the person say the working hour is from 9-6... and I was 晴天霹雳！AHHHHH!!! Then I told him I got another job which starts from 6... then he ask if i am willing to give up the job for this job... and I told him no... of course not... I signed contract with Q&M lah... Then when I hung up... I almost want to call back and negotiate with him if I can work from 8-5 instead... haiz... but I didn't.... anyway... the pay is not the pay that everyone will accept... but to me... it's not the pay that matters... I really want that job!!! haiz... So i decided that I shall only start looking for work in Jan... let me catch my breath and pack my table... for the last week of dec...

Oh yah! Before I forgot.... THANKS TO ALL WHO WISHED MY A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! AND THANK YOU... HUIMIN, SIYUN, VERONICA, ALFRED AND LIXUAN FOR THE WONDERFUL TUESDAY AT ECP AND CLARKE QUAY! LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS! AND THANK YOU FOR THE WINNIE THE POOH! I LOVEEEE IT LOADS!

OH.... and btw... if Veron or Seiyu happens to stop by my blog...

VERON: may i know where the hell is your tagboard for your blog?? And can you change a blogskin? your blog is very dull... haha!

Seiyu: Do you still want the nitendo? You going this St. James this sat? Cause I going Malaysia next tues... and I think I am going to buy... want me help you buy? empty nitendo... RM 200 plus if I am not wrong...

Today... I was suppose to go for the YAH birthday bash... but I didn't turn up... hiaz... feel quite guilty now... instead of going there... I actually stayed at home and watch my Black and White AKA 痞子英雄. Recomended show. Nice... Don't know why i wanna watch it in the first place... nobody that i like... but after watching is think Mark Zhao is DAMN COOL!!! haha... for a newbie... he is very good... if there's a movie coming up... i wanna watch... haha...

And... I log on to facebook to find that i am being tagged for prom photos!!! 晴天霹雳! Don mind anyway... now i wondering if i wanna post the pics on facebook... or should i post it here??? Haha... post some of my fav photos here bah... I should be posting the rest on facebook... omt... so many pics to upload man...haha...

The dog is damn kawaii... haha... it licks you like nobody's busniess... haha... More pics in facebook... going to be up like dono when.. after i come back from my hols? I still got kusu island and marina barrage haven upload... haiz...

Btw... JJ Lin's Album is coming out on 18th Dec!!!! Wootx.. Saw the mv... AHHHHHHH!! kkz... i am going mad... this time... by hook or by crook... i am going to buy... the last album i was waiting for a gai ban... and then... HE NEVER COME OUT WITH ANY GAI BAN!!! kkz... Shall not complain... kudos... Watching SEA games while blogging....

记得支持JJ 的【100天】！强力推荐【第几个100天】 :)

Actually I am damn lazy to blog... but i wanna blog about prom yesterday...WAHAHAHAHA...

Well... Prom was ok... I didn't really take as much pictures as i thought i did... cause I sort of smile until muscle cramp lah... and blinded by alot of flashlights... Anyway... Yesterday veron was all over the place... and my biggest regret... NO INDIVIDUAL PHOTOS WITH MISS GOH AND MISS ZHANG AND MISS CHEW!!!! SOBS SOBS X100 Haiz... and the clique photo is abit de blur lah... and without wanrong... that guy... got girlfriend dowan friends liao... haahaa... you should see how the two of them enter the place man... and we went to take photos with them... and me and veron looks like we are taking a wedding photo... ya... Anyway... I also ran around lahx... but not as much as veron...

Then the post-prom activity... total unglam. We wanted to go blacony bar... then it closed down lerx... so we went to orchard tower instead... Oh... I help the guys carry their coat man! this is the first time i help a guy carry coat... haha... quite cool actually... kkz... i think i am mad... In the end we wanted to go st. james but never open... then we want to go supper club (i suppose it's spelt like that) full... then we walk from orchard ion all the way to somewhere further down dobyghaut barefooted... cause we took off the freaking heels... And I think i damn noob... cause my one not even heels... haha... but cause the back of the shoes is giving me blisters... so i decided to take it off... haha... So we walk... and then wanted to walk to clarke quay... but wanna die liao... so stop by kopitiam and stone there until 2 plus and junwen suggested to drink my the river... I can't imagine myself drunk and sleeping by the river in prom attire... kkz...very unlikely it will happen anyway... ya... so I decided to go home... and so me alf and veron went home while lixuan shiva and huimin went to drink by the river... haiz... pathetic post prom activity... just not our day... monday... pubs either don open or close by 2... haha...

Went k-box at jurong SAFRA today... inside is totally diff from the k-box i went to in the past man... the 'remote control' is touch screen one seh... and the tv is LCD one leh... donno wad to say lah... haha... you can go check out yourself... but warning... no student price there... haha

Oh... Prom pics I will post... but another day... anyone who dowan their faces up on my blog... can spam my tagboard or just tell me personally... haha

A's is finally over! But problems have not yet end...
One day ago I am worrying that i wouldn't be able to get a job.
One day later... I am sandwiched in the middle of two jobs which both I am unwilling to give up and would be force to give up the later one if there cannot be an agreement...
Is this life?
Why do we have to always make choices?

Anyway... I PLAYED the whole day of com today! DAMN SHUANG can... haha... you can see how long I have deprived myself from games... Oh... And I signed up for a facebook account... haha... add me if you want... Easy to find... haha....

Thurs went for new moon and sorry to say... but I almost slept in the theather... Not that the show is not nice... but it's just that after you have read the book... you seems to know what's going to happen next and it dosen't tempt you anymore... haiz... unlike twilight... but comparing the two... I prefer twilight... No blames anyway... as new moon the book itself is pretty boring... haha... And Jacob is OH MY TAIN the macho and cool MAN! I was like 0.o!!! And funniest thing happened in the cinema... There's one scene the robert patterson took off his clothes... and one girl in the theathre scream ,Eww so ugly.... OMG... At first i thought it was Seiyu cause it sounds like... but it's not lahx... anyway... that scene is really ugly... Edward is really ugly...

Prom's just two days away... I haven't bought my acessories!!!! Anyway... I might as well just go without any acessories... Doing Mani and maybe pedicure tomorrow... what colour should I paint my nails man! Haiz... Prom is irritating... I spend near to 300 buck already... haiz... Why on earth am I spending so much money for an event that I solely just wanted to go there and take pictures???

I only have one word for my A-levels... That is... 惨!!!!

Haiz... Today's econs paper was a total sucks...
So much for me pia-ing macro policy...
YOu know what the toot came out?
NID and NIS!!! Circular flow of income!!! (超冷门的!)
Then the micro was worse... You can't even choose a question that you fully knows what it want man! Hiaz...
The globalization questi0n was... fine... i bet the easiest of all... but I suddenly can't remember the points!! ZZzzz... Lost motivation for studying econs man... Haizzzzz.....

Well... Not my motive for blogging... 不想提起伤心事... Now, i think I have problem clearing J2 man... Even maths which I have the most confidence in was a total failure... and I think it's super dumb to fail maths for a national exam... cause singaporeans are suppose to be good in maths... cambridge standard... Welll... Anyway... Anyone interested in looking at how 荒谬and 创新 cambridge is this year... You can get the maths, GP econs and chem papers from me... ZZzzzz....

Ok.. to my motive of blogging... Cause I was telling Huimin that after A-levels I think I will feel empty and 失去方向 cause i have been mugging for so long that I forgot how living life is like... Then she told that she did a to-do list after As to keep her in track... So I shall do it too... Cause I have alot of unfufilled wishes... Opp cost for studying...

TO DO LIST:
- Thailand trip -> Puhket
- Volunteer under SPCA
- Try out as a physiotherapist or a occupational therapist
- Work (That's of course)
- International voluntary work
- K-box (I can't remember when was the last time I went)
- Learn Dancing (Particularly Hip-hop)
- Bake
- Cook
- Slim down ****
- Finish my unfinished work
- 和老朋友叙旧
- 保留现有的友情
- Taiwan
- Sports (Netball especially)
- Go Sentosa! (I am devoid of the sun for damn long)
- Shopping Spree (这很难得!)

That's all i remember... for now.. I still feel i forgot something very important... Haha...

我会变得更勇敢
我不会再轻易掉泪
我不会再轻视自己的生命
我会改变 等全新的我东山再起吧!

I had sudden realization that doing maths can also shape a character...

I was doing vectors for the past 1 hour and I only did 3 question...

Wanna know why?

Cause I keep having mistakes...

First... I copy wrong number...

next... I forgot to square...

Then... see question wongly...

ZZZzzz.... Vectors is getting on my nerves...

Damn irritated now...

Hmm... Maths is after of a test of patience...

I wonder how long more do i need to take to finish that freaking TYS...

I still wanna do my complex and differentiation one leh!

Oh... I was complaining about buying another SWATCH and I couldn't find the ones I like right? And I was saying that there was a SWATCH showcase in Beijing not long ago... Here are some designs that I find it pretty nice... Copyrights and credits goes to JJ Lin's Official Website :)

So it started off with this... Blank...

Then... The artist came to draw and design on the watches... and while they were doing...

This is SUPER cool...

And this... IS SO NICE!!! I LOVE IT!!!! Hope they do produce this watch... :))))

Yup... Abit kiddy... But I think is damn nice... YES man... HOHOH.... Again... Credits goes to JJ Lin's Official website... :) Can make a visit if you wan to...

Webbie: http://www.jjfusion.com/

虽然迟了一点但今天的我发现这里没有我的容身之地。不管走到那里都感觉是多余的。为何我会有这种想法呢？连我自己也不晓得。所以我也不盼望朋友会知道。

曾经很想问你们这几句简单却对我来说充满意义话：

如果我消失了
你们会在多久之后发现呢？
一小时？ 两小时？还是突然想起我时才发现我以不在了？
答案。。。我从没想也不想知道。

如果我累了，脱队了
你们会责怪我吗？
答案。。。我想我知道。

如果你们想出去玩
但你们知道我最近心情不好
可能会破坏你们的美好时光
你们会叫我吗？
答案。。。 我想知道。

你们不必多说我也知道你们并不会多看我一眼
我是一个在你们没人约没人管的时候想起的一个朋友吧
就像一个你小时候很喜欢的一个洋娃娃
曾经喜欢的不得了
后来没兴趣了就随手丢到一边去
回过头突然想起洋娃娃的存在
再去拥抱它。
我想。。。我在你们的心目中因该是这样的洋娃娃吧。。。

今年的生日
有谁会记得？
不要让我想那女孩一样
许一个那么不开心的愿望。。。


最后我当今的心情就如这句话吧。。。

『是否我沉默了，你才能听到我的心声
是否我停止了， 你才能看到我的眼泪
是否我心碎了，你才会摸到我的心痛
是否我消失了，你才会知道我的存在』

完毕。

Results sux...
So I went retail therapy today...
Well... Pretty weird for me to go retail therapy...
Haha...
Anyway, I finally bought my shoe... and I think I wanna buy another one >.<
Haiz... Addiction is fatal...

BBQ on monday... Whheeee...
Should I massage them to go mountain climbing?
I should.... Maybe I should not...
Haiz... 明天再说...
How many more tomorrows do I have?

Many thinks that immunity is good...
Now I think immunity is not good at all...
I am immune to failure...
Plunged for maths and I am not feeling as sad as I thought I would be...
I should be sad...
I should be unhappy...
I should cry...
I should....
Why do I have to tell myself that I should be sad? Isn't this suppose to be a natural feeling?
Haiz... 人生....

Living is getting harder and harder as the days go by...

Prelim finally over... Yippeeeeeee!
Ok... It's not like I put in my heart and soul for this prelim --> Cause have been mugging for so long until I think prelim period I fatigue liao... LOL...
Anyway... The end of prelims also means that there is not much time left from now the 09-11-09...Haiz...

Who was the one who told me A-level is just A LITTLE BIT stressful than o level?!!!!
I have have a hell hard time for A's than O's can.... It's not A LITTLE BIT... It's ALOT can... So lesson learnt... NEver listen to what others say... Believe in yourself....

Why earth did I choose this path!!! I should have stayed to my will back then... 我真是一个不定心的人啊! 算了。。。 下次就死死坚持我的理念和我相信对我自己最好的。。。

Anyway... Recently.... I seem to have a self realization... I am not that kind hearted as I thought I am (OMG~ I am so dowan face) and my 心胸也没有很宽阔 like some people think... I think I am a very petty person... I think Veron seems to know that... Haha... I get angry very easily... especially during this period of time... and when I get angry... I don't scold I don't scream... but I will have a black face... and keep very quiet... cause I am afraid I will scold and scream when I open my mouth... LOL... Hmm... sometimes I want to hide my anger... because sometimes... you are just angry with yourself... it has totally nothing to do with anybody... but the people around you seems to be your victim... and I feel very selfish and bad to pull friends down... 人家的好心情就因为我的黑脸而变成坏心情... This dosen't seem to be the way I want it... So people... next time you see my black face... just don care.. OK? I will be better after awhile... Can self recuperate one... Hahaa... So I don't think I am a kind of person who is able to help... I can be a good listener but never a good advisor... And sometimes... Your story may make be very emotional... and when everything bottles up... The next person who add that last ingredient will be my victim... Sometimes it's actually not the person fault... the person just so happen to push the button... So I am really sorry for that last person... yup...

Ok... I am blabbering rubbish... as you can see... no sentence structure one... The moral of the story is... I have this sudden self realization that physiotherapy dosen't seem to be a right job for a person like me... what if one day I blast at my patient... I will be like OMG!!! And I am pretty a pessimist...

Maybe I will change for the better... but currently... I am opening myself up to some other courses... Physiotherapy although still on the top of my list... It dosen't mean it can't be replaced... :)

原本答应自己要保持一段距离
所以在离开时才不会觉得特别的痛苦
但我却让你们一步一步的接近
这样-如果你们真的离开了我
我也不知道我会不会痛苦得无法自拔
我不想被捅一刀有一刀

完毕 :)

Is there something wrong with blogger or is it just my coms?
Both my laptop and the CPU is having problem with blogger..
This page is damn weird... LOL...

Hetic week is finally over...
Imagine yourself having 3 content-based paper for one day...
It's a total OMG!
And the stupid thing that happened yesterday...
There was one question on defining enthalpy change of formation under standard conditions.
And my answer ended with ceteris paribus.... OMG...
I think I went mad... I almost laughed out lah...
If I really did I think the people and teachers will look at me like I am mad...
Haha...

Anyway, This prelim is very weird for me...
Hmm... Donno how to put it into word...
Just feeling too slack for a prelim...
Haiz...
Is this good or bad??

As the time nears, everyone inevitably gets stressed up and become sensitive to even the tiniest thing
But this is the very time we test how this friendship holds.
Many believes that friends in High school and university will be your friends for life.
Or at least for a longer period of time compared to those you made friends with in Sec and pri school but I seem to have some doubts to that...
I don't know how many agrees to this...
But it does matter to me...

101 Days... See me shine :)

My prophecy came true... I totally flunked my Chem paper like some shit... yah... So do I expect to flunk my bio worse than what I expected because ms goh said it was very easy to mark... you know why? Cause all she need to do is to strike out the whole page and put zero... or put crosses because we didn't even answer the question... I think this time we really made her very angry that she gave up on us... Anyway, she was saying that she wants all As for S01... and said that we are brilliant... but I seriously think that she didn't count me (the lost sheep) into the brilliant S01 class... yah... I am hell sure I can't ace my bio lahx (although I want to Ace it alot)...

Well... Even though I expected my bio the fail... I think abit too highly of myself... I thought I will do well in the MCQ... and in the end? I failed... I think I am the sole failure in the class lahx... haiz.... and she asked me again... did you study? Yes... I studied... but for the whole common test... I am so crushed up that my mind is not thinking at all... Not processing anything... Hiaz.... I flunk even the MCQ and I can say good game to paper 2 liao lolx... Bye...

I hope that I fail the chem paper because of time management.... Because I really left almost 20 marks blank... yah... but some how... I don't really think so... I shall try the paper again during the weekend... Haiz... I flunk chem... My favourite subject... Somehow... people don't always do well in their favourite subject... yah... somehow... I like chem but I can't get pass the C grade. Then veron likes bio and she is also not doing well in it. Then huimin likes maths.... Although she is doing well... but I think she is not very satisfied with her maths results either... haiz... why does things go this way? What you like, you don't do well... What you don really like... You are doing pretty well.... I don't like maths... but I think I am doing pretty well for it... But I like chem and I flunk like no busniess.... What is this man...

Oh yah... and all the teachers said that we are blind... Haha... first day of school... First lesson... Ms Zhang was like... Your chem common test huh.... Hiaz.... then the typical haiz face... jia lat.... Then she commented that our class is blind... you all don't read the question.... And today she was checking my paper... she was like... You people need to go for reading lessons... I was like... Hahaha.... oh... and she said my section A was ok... And section B was horrendous.... haiz... no time... brain died.... yah.... Back to the blind part... Then we went for maths... Mdm goh was like, the question said to write in exact form and you all write in decimal points... You all are blind.... The second one liaox.... Then went for bio.... and ms goh.... totally disspointed with our class that she even said... don't care about the 交代 part... I will answer to it... and said that S1 gone crazy for this common test... really sad.... and she said that everyone in our class is blind... haiz... 3rd teacher.... then go for GP.... Ms chew was going through the common test paper 1... and she was talking about the culture question and said that we are BLIND to ignore the word ever... haha.... 4th teacher... and guess how many teachers I have in total? 5.... so only left with econs chew who haven say that we are blind... and i think she won't so bad one lahx... So are we really blind? I don't know... maybe I am.... selectively blind...

Anyway... I was lucky that I passed GP... Yes... I passed GP when half the class failed... Somehow... I think it's luck... my paper 2 AQ.... the teacher was like commenting on my weak LOA and I still manage to pass the AQ... I mean 4 marks lah... then yanting and veron one was like... good LOA and arguement... then 3 marks... I was like ???? why???? Maybe the teacher see I failing so badly liao then let me pass.... who knows? Then paper 1... veron have like good arguments and examples.... and seiyu just had uninspiring examples and points... and they both get only 25... and me... not answering part of the question... weak LOA.... then still can get 27... h0ow? I also donno.... I think it's pure luck that I passed my GP this time... Maybe I should continue to belief in luck now... haha....

One day... Maybe I would become so immune to failure that it will not become a motivation anymore.... And I seriously hope... this is not going to come any soon... and please don't come soon... can come after A-levels? It's better to be worry and cry because you fail instead of having the 'fail ah? nevermind lah... always fail one... never pass before...' attitude... Somehow... I think I am starting to develop this immunity... can someone come and 刺激 me?

Maybe the comment was just a voice of thoughts...
Maybe it was unintentional...
Maybe it serve as a hard knock for me...
But that comment made me deep in thoughts for the whole night...
Today morning... the moment I open my eyes...
The thought came back...
It never left me...
till now...
Since I made that decision...
I shall not regret....
At least that's what I can trying to convince myself now...


Today I went to watch TRANSFORMERS!!! WHOO!! The movie is so damn nice! Why did anyone even critic it? oK... I am taking an extreme view... But I don really like the last part cause I can't really differentiate between the autobots and the decepticons (is it spelt like that? I doubt so...)... Ok... I am noob... and the four of us is damn weird... no one watch transformers 1 and went to watch transformers 2... then I was sort of lost in the first 10mins of the show trying to remember which are the good robots and which are the bad... haha... But I like the twins(The red and green one) and bumble bee is also very cute... haha... I like the autobots lahx... they were really great... And michael bay even added humour in... I was like laughing all the way lah... the main lead also very funny... haha... and megan fox is really hot... Leo is funny too... His dorm mate... haha... Now I know why transformers is such a blockbuster.... I wouldn't wanna miss transformers 3... WHOOO!


Anyway... HM asked me today... "Why do you want to be a physiotherapist?" And I told her.... I don't know how to put that feeling into words... In the first place... It's ironic and ridiculous that an introvert like me would want to work as a physiotherapist which is considered under social work... It start out during this adam khoo workshop where the trainer told us to draw out our life path... What we wanna do in the future... And then I was fliping through the book and saw physiotherapy.... Then I was thinking... physiotherapy is such a cool job.... It's offered in Singapore? And so for the sake of writing a life path... I wrote physiotherapy... Then I thought it's just writing for the sake of writing... But somehow... this passion grew... I wanted more and more to be a physiotherapist... I want to help... The satisfaction of your patients walking out your clinic... they came in in a wheelchair.... then months later... they walk out... the sense of appreciation they have for you... the sense of satisfaction you have for yourself... isn't it great? Well... it may just be what i think.... Maybe patient wouldn't thank you... I thought it just a impluse act... something that I will soon not care about... But now I am very sure... yes... I want to be a physiotherapist... i really want to be... And I really hope this is not an impluse act... I remember... in primary school.... I wanted to be a marine biologist... In sec 2, I want to be a nutritionist... in sec 3... I want to be a navy... and sec 4 a physiotherapist... every year... my ambition changed... but this time... it stayed... and it grew... I am really happy for myself... Ok... this took me quite sometime to type out... my 'feelings'... I told you it can't be put into words... so this is the best I can do...

Anyway... yesterday I went swimming at CDANDS... It has been years since I went there... and I am like so damn noob... I can't even find the changing room... -_-''' kkz... anyway... It feels really good to swim.... if there is nothing much to do this coming weekend... I think I am going to go for another swim... Anyone care to go with me? Haha... Better not... you will vomit our what you ate 2 days before... haha... :)