Tennis is fun. But it is also as tiring... Went for sports session at RP on Monday and came back with a sun burn... It's like a pretty long time since I had a sun-burn, BUT the game was damn fun. Next time if you wanna play tennis, try it out with the elastic ball first... It beats playing with a real human being because you would end up picking up balls, believe me... Playing with an elastic one is good in a way that how much strenght you place on the ball is how much strength you get back... and you don have to pick up balls... So me and my sis had this mini squash session using a tennis elastic... it's pretty fun but tiring... damn tiring... imagine hitting balls for hours and in the after 10am sun...

We played basketball after that... by then the 12pm sun is really burning and I couldn't take it anymore... so we ended and went for a wash-up. TIRED... it was like so hot that when I came out of the shower I was already starting to sweat... then... 好死不死... when we left, it starting raining... I need to go bugis for the contract... so I took the train... and came out of bugis to see RAINING CATS AND DOGS! So went to get money to take cab. Then super sway, cannot get cab, and then called up the office and told them I would be late. Another 15mins later, get fed up and called up again to ask if there is any sheltered walkway... But when I reach there, the rain has lessen so much that i just decide to walk in the rain to SHAW tower... reach the office, 狼狈的样子... I think I left a bad first impression... so signed contract and throw my bombs (but didn't manage to get the type of ans that I was looking for) and then decided to skip work for the night... Haiz... One hour so sunny like going to melt, another hour rain like mad and so humid... WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WEATHER NOWADAYS!

Yesterday, I woke up aching all over... and my legs felt like thet weigh a thousand tons... my leg feels like it does not belong to me... HAHA... I was like dragging it while I walk... and come to think of it, the last time I had this kind of serious aches is after a demonous netball training in Sec school... and my arms are also aching like some shit lah... I can't even lift my arms (after effect of a long tennis game). BUT... It's really fun... TENNIS.

Tomorrow is first day of work... HONEST... I am very excited... Cause I am working for a land, estate company which I suppose i cannot tell the name (according to the contract) and this might be a good chance to see if I would really wanna do Project Facilities Management in NUS... :)

即期待又害怕受伤害...

FINALLY!
I got my blogskin out.... Hmm... Although not very nice... BUT at least its a good first try I think!
Well... How do you guys think about my new skin?

Anyway... Actually I am just trying out my typing speed... haha... Cause I went to an interview and the person actually asked me how fast I type... And I replied pretty fast... Now coming to think of it... I don't really type fast... HAHA... I can type fast... but will have hell lots of typo... Diaoz... Beat the purpose.... HAHA.... While in case you guys don't know... I got myself another job! Whee.... Although it's pretty impromtu and it makes people wonder is this some april fool joke... but I think I will be fine for that job... just 2 months and you will have cash raining in your bank... HAHAA.... While... As to details... I am not sure too... I think I am going down to sign the contract like tomorrow? Anyone has any advise to what i should look out for? And wait till I am truely sure that I am not an April's fool... I shall wait till I start work before boosting on and on about my 'to-be' work... HAHA...

Anyway... I think I am going to be a very problematic employee... Cause I got the dental job that I don't i will be quitting... you know... I still need income in june and when school reopens especially if i wanna stay in a hostel... So I was thinking of negotiating with the person... Will I get chopped for this? then work one week and I have a class chalet... so have to take 1 or 2 days off.... better not take the risk of getting fired on my first day... so if she is unwilling to give me a leave which is highly possible... I might just skip the class chalet... NOOOOOO!!!! I wanna go! Sobs.... Super sian...

Hmm... Should I add an event calendar here? Hmm.... not that I will read anyway.... Well then I shall not... But i can update you guys so that you won waste your message...

030410: Work @ clementi
040410: ShaoMu
100410: Work @clementi
110410: OSIM international Triathlon
120410: Class Chalet @ Parsir Ris
130410: Class Chalet@ Parsir Ris
170410: MAYDAY concert

so... no time no time... Maybe April is going to be the month I really get a great taste of how life is like... BUSY... 充实的生活:)

AND.... I missed JJ's auto or rather 背对背拥抱+拍照会 and JJ PARTY @ SCAPE... strictly speaking... not miss... just that I chose not to go... Like I say... i am no crazy FAN of his... 纯粹的欣赏... but also cause nobody wanna go with me... Sobbbssss.....

Well... That's all.... I just wanna give my typing skills and speed a test... but i think it barely make the mark... LOL.... And if anyone loves my blogskin... I am willing to share... you can get the template from me.... which i don't think anyone will like... But if anyone thinking of doing your own skin... I could help... 一回生二回熟嘛！哈哈...

Beiyii is currently doing a personal project...
Hence she wouldn't be updating her blog during this period of time...
She hopes she could finish this project by 20th March...
Until then...
Unless it's important or too interesting a stuff...
She wouldn't be updating her blog...

尽请期待... A brand new look :)
I am such a spoiler... :(
HAHA

I remember last year I was doing a GP paper (forgot the school name) and there is this question.

"Why are we learning history when it keeps repeating itself?" At that time I thought that's a pretty cool and interesting question. Now... it's even more intersting for I am the one experiencing the scenario.

I am too fickle-minded a person that I hardly like to make any choices especially important choices... But life is all about choices... Like what my love always likes to say... The choice is yours... I remember barely 3 months ago... I was so insistent that I want to take up physiotherapy... I WAS so insistent... I don't give a damn what my friends and teachers said about a poly education after A's... And physiotherapy was actually the goal that keeps pushing me throughout the two years in my JC life... As you know... People work for a goal... And my goal... WAS a scholarship in Physiotherapy... That WAS my goal all along since I graduated from JVS... That WAS my goal... I want to be a allied health professional...

Noticed that I used WAS? Because... Now... It isn't... Maybe because I had too much time to settle and think about optimistic and pessimistic views of my all along goal... This goal started to lose it's stand last year, I noticed... While my friends are busy surfing uni websites for their courses... I was so determined and told them... I am taking physiotherapy in NYP... I have no intention at all to take up any uni courses for god's sake... Some gave me a why-do-you-want-to-go-poly face... while the more understanding ones would say... just go with your interest... This goal or dream stood rooted through my JC 1 and half way through JC2... It started to shake... Not literally of course...

About aug (I only noticed until then), suddenly... I felt the need to open up to alternatives... I cannot just put my head into a hole and not care about the outside... if you know I meant... and it strucked me that my parents did not know about me wanting to go poly... Usually they don't interfere with my life or the choice I make... but they clearly wanted me to get into a Uni... Then... I felt the need to open up... physiotherapy may be what you wanted... but not what you really want... people's preference and interest changes.... yours may also change... That's what I told myself... But back then... all that was in my mind was A levels A levels and A levels... maybe because I lost my goal in life... I had no mood or no motivation to study... Everything went into the immunity stage... Coming to think of the post-prelim period where I have totally no motivation to study... everyday seems to be a great torture... everyday I need to force myself to do TYS, tutorials read my notes... It wasn't like the past where I sometimes like to study... I like to do my tutorials... the post-prelim period... everything was forced... it wasn't voluntary... it might be because I lost my north-star... I lost my direction... my goal... People are driven by a goal... When they lost it... it's hard to be motivated...

After the As.... of course I have hell lots of time to sit and think, think and think and let my imagination run wild... Then... I noticed a fear in me... I like risk-taking people... but I am not a risk-taker... I am a typical 保守singaporean... It strucked me... What if I regret halfway through my course? Being in such a specific course... it's not easy to turn away as compared to if you have a general degree... Won't I be living in hell? Being too late to turn back and no point going forward.. what if I regret? I was surprised... I never thought I would regret taking up physiotherapy... I always thought that was what I really want in life... That's the job i want... That was how much passion I HAD... I don't know what factors caused it to change... caused it's standing in my heart to change... but it did... it really did... It became a choice... Not a dream...

I was lost and confused... I didn't get good results to start off with... So... There wasn't many uni courses that I am able to get into... I talked to my sec sch teacher... I talked to my cousin... I talked to my doctor (yes... to that extend) I tried to get the correct and more sounding advises... And Miss Chua and My cousin made the most sense out of everything... They together cleared the mist totally... Everything became clear... I decided not to take up physio... Not because I no longer have passion for it... but it's because I am afriad of regret... You cannot afford to regret... And being 18... looking beyond what's in front of you is what you should be doing... and being 18... you might someday change your goal in life again... you are barely 1/4 through life...

What do I really want? I want to look into the future... My future...

我相信上天是公平的
它会给你机会
但只是一次机会
因为它需要给太多人机会了
它很忙
它不会在意你有没有把握这机会
只要它有给你就是了
当它给了你机会你却没把握
那你要等很久之后机会才会再来到你身边

我两年前得到了我的机会
但却没有好好的把握
我希望它会再来
但我知道机会渺茫


我是一个悲观的人
绝对不是那种你说一两句我就能放下我的忧郁
这让我更害怕某天的来临
在我还没有完全认识恐怖的自己之前
我真的害怕某天的到来
而那某天即将来临
我感觉到了恐怖的自己即将重生
虽然答应了自己不要再让那野兽出现
但我害怕我控制不了我飘浮不定的情绪

我想控制这支野兽
但我时间不多了
我不知道我到底做不做的到

但你们可以放下千万颗心
我是不会有事的
因为我是个窝囊废
连该有的勇气都没有
所以即使野兽出现
我并不会怎样
只是会有那种念头

但如果我突然有了勇气
请你们不要生气
不要伤心
不要担心
因为那毕竟是我‘选择’的路