Self protection is often necessary, especially when you are all alone.

Psychological walls are easy to build but difficult to tear. 8 months of recuperation, the walls are up in just 2months. Why? I want to protect myself. Protect myself from the harm, the pain that others will give to me.

I never wanted a strong bond between people because I am afraid that you will leave one day... Away from me, to lead your own life. I want to protect myself from this pain.

I never wanted to risk because I am afraid of the consequences if all fails. I am protecting myself form harm.

I never wanted to talk first because I am afraid of your first impression on me. I am protecting myself.

I never wanted to express myself because I am afraid that you will hate who I really am. I am just protecting myself from harm.

Psychological walls are build for a reason. My reason. To protect myself. I need no effort to build walls, but I need tremendous amount of effort to tear down the walls... Why on earth am I letting the walls up again? Am I prepared for a war that I have to lock all gates?

I am just afraid where my threshold lies. I have a bad feeling that if things exceeds threshold, I LOSE EVERYTHING... EVERYTHING

我已经习惯了
改不了了
为什么你们要这样对我
你们知不知道我有多难受
明明是朋友
为什么我种觉得格格不入

不是我要把心墙拉起
是逼不得已

拜托你们不要再伤害我了