Admiration

 

 “For when I am weak

then I am strong

我脆弱却不退缩”

 

<I AM> -JJ Lin

落在手裡一顆淚滴 清澈地卻已融化
活在人間 我的壓力和疑惑
愛和理想怎麼評量
闖過難關 避開受傷
其實我和凡人都一樣
擔心路會走錯方向
擔心她不放在心上
擔心生命不再充滿渴望
For when I'm weak Then I am strong
我脆弱 卻不退縮
確定路在對的方向
確定她在我的心上
確定生命永遠有希望
For when I'm weak Then I am strong
我脆弱 卻不退縮
我脆弱 卻永不退縮

 

 

 

 

 

One will admire another when he or she reflects your dreams. I am not saying that I dream to be an entertainer, singing and dancing in front of people, but yes, the man above in the picture reflects what I dream to be or rather someone I hope to become, an impact.

“We are all placed on earth to leave imprints on each others' lives.
Life is about creating something out of nothing, stick to it and keep working on it.

I make music...
I weave dreams...
I live to capture life...

I struggle, but I break free...
I fall, but I get up stronger...
I sleep, but I never stop...

I die, but I live forever...

No one can stop you unless you stop yourself, No one will push you unless you push yourself. The choice is yours.”

 

-JJ Lin

No, I did not regret or hate my mum for not bringing me for music lessons but I will definitely send my child for music lessons in the future, piano, violin or flute. Learning music enhance one’s mind and encourages the mind’s creativity. His musical talent is international, more people loves his music than his person. I dream to be someone talented in something. I used to dance (Chinese dance), I used to play Netball, I used to be sociable. But I excel in none. I have no outstanding talent that he posses.

I dream to impact the society but till today with my youth almost gone, I have yet to do anything that is worth a mention or a memory. What a failure. But him, although his career only took flight in 2004 after the release of the River South, at least he is now a national treasure and a proud Singapore ‘export’. Even before entering the entertainment circle, he already threw a bomb in, a song he composed known as 记得 which hit the charts even till today. He left an impact in Singapore, Taiwan, China and many other parts of Asia. I have read article about how his music help people tide over moments of distress and depression even though it’s a little extreme but at least he caused changes in people, he impacted their lives. What about me? 1/4 of my life is a mundane wake up go school home and sleep. No one remembers me, and no one ever will.

Everyone dreams to be successful, who doesn’t. His success did not come easy. His first album in 2003 was a total failure, but he was thankful to River South that made it. An entertainer’s lifespan works the same way as the economic business cycle, at least for him. He did not stay at the peak of his career all along, he had an album dip in 2007 with his 5th Album ‘Killer’ but that did not end him. He went back to who he really was, not the actor, not the entertainer, but the Singaporean, JJ Lin. He came back with his 6th Album in 2008 ‘Sixology’ promoting the spirit of the bull, never give up. He turned a military concept of Still Moving UnDer GunfirE (SMUDGE) into his fashion label SMG.  You might think he is lucky, but he is far far away from it. When everything seems well, ‘death god’ came to knock on his door, a long-term gastric problem turned too serious that he burnt his throat and lost his voice. He literally faded and disappeared out of the scene and faded into his own world of darkness, that was in 2009, his all time low. The future seems bleak to him, he has no idea what to do. Everyday, the first thing he does when he wakes up is to sing, but nothing came out, I am sure at some point of your time, you will experience this helplessness. This is what makes me like him even more, he did not give up from here, he rise stronger, reborn. In 2009, 100 days was swept off the shelves in a matter of days, his 8 months perseverance, his motivation his ability to cope and walk out of those grey days really made me think, people have gone through so much and came back stronger, what are you doing? Beaten down by a mere sucky a levels? I am not only saying JJ, I am saying even normal people who had difficulties in daily life did not just sit at home, rotting and waiting for government welfare but they work and volunteer and made their life full, what about me? Depression from school? I ought to be ashamed of myself.

Well after the huge success of 100 days, you might still think he got lucky, yet he is still far away from lucky. Caught with H1N1, stuck in a New York Blizzard and a horrendous health report screams a halt in his career. He is now taking a break and I strongly believe, he will come back with even more impactful live stories and touching music.

His journey is not smooth and will never be but he never give up, he dies but he lives forever. I am seeing him to what I want to become, yet something I can’t achieve. Maybe… that’s why I admire.

How I wish I can just walk out of the grey cloudy days and embrace my everyday. But… I can’t. I am stuck in a quicksand slowly devouring me and one day I might just give up struggling and sink in deep and forgotten by everyone.

Farewell, my old friend…

缘分是别离的开始

Humans form social bonds with people, that’s basic survival. Yet, I hate to form social bonds because I am afraid of separation, because I care. I have shared my thoughts, my feelings and sometimes my dreams with you, but yet after all, you left, leaving me all alone to face the world. Sometimes, when I become too dependent on you, I am lost when you leave, my north star is gone. That’s why, I never take the first initiative for a meet-up. To me, one day, everyone leaves you, so why put in so much to maintain. I know I sound selfish, but this is a psychological barrier that I failed to overcome on top of the so many.

My colleague is going back to China. She is someone whom I feel always have a piece of her mind, she is someone whom you can always turn to for advice, she has experienced some life that I haven’t and she is far-sighted. I consulted her quite a lot of times when I become indecisive and she doesn’t tell me what to do but lead me to what I really want. Someone that I like is going off, our paths might no longer cross, we might not meet again, I really don’t want her to leave. Really.

I distaste going to work these days because works gets harder and harder when the passion is no longer there. Hers leaving is not the reason but I no longer grab every chance I have to work. I am really getting sick and tired of being stuck between doctors and patients, I am sick and tired of being so patient and put on a smile even though my day went totally wrong. Now, I rather sit in an office and face the wall or computer and not people or slack at home and not do anything.

我要的到底是什么? Destination unknown. I don’t know where to go next. What’s around the corner?

A New Beginning

My new blogskin is out! Nice and simple, just the way I like it :)) This took me a much much lesser time to do as compared to the previous which took me nearly two weeks this only took 3days :)) Yippeeee! Just hope you like it :)) Ohhh… and I miss out the tag board on purpose because I see no point in putting one when only two people comment on my posts.

It’s Sei’s BD yesterday, went for a chill out at blue Jazz bar?? It’s a long time since I see my JC peeps. Although part of me does not want to maintain bonds with them because of the fear of leaving, another part just loves to hang out with them… Kind of contradicting. So, as and when I can, I will always turn up.

I shall change my way of blogging by reducing the amt of words and add in more pictures, make life easier for the readers and as you know, a picture speaks a thousand words. And since I gave so much a space for entries, I shall add colours to it :)

Last time I posted was on the beginning of June. Given my boring and mundane life, there is not much to tell. Just ended special sem 1. Psychology is really really reallyx100 FUN! But I am actually quite glad that I did not choose psy as my major to study… There is too much to memorise given it’s wide application. :( Kind of a wishful thinking to think that psy is more on disorders… after you take the introductory, disorders are only one chapter out of that 20 over chapters you are to study. OMG!

Anyways, since special sem is over, I have no intention to look for a job, or rather should I say no one wants to hire me, so I am predicting I would be pretty free for July (weekends excluded). =) So it’s time to do something to add some colours to my mundane life. First, I need to get my stamina up so that Huimin doesn't have to wait hours for me on the 10th of July. Priority. Then since there is this training up of stamina, I shall plan some slimming down program (not that I think I will follow it, but it’s worth trying). My excessive fats is irritating me these days.

I have plans to do some voluntary work, but yet to find any interesting events to volunteer for. Might be trying out being an ‘ambassador’ to bring new international freshies around if time permits. And also go for some nature walk to take some photos, ya know, brush up some photography skills and I have already crafted the places I thought of going =) Currently, I am thinking of going alone, but it gets lonely… kind of.

I am thinking of getting a tuition job, emailed the agency but no replies. Just get a little more patience… But I am wondering if I do really get one tuition job, how am I going to teach the kid? what way? What if I don’t know how to do the questions he/she ask me? It makes me kind of a clown. Maybe I think too much yea?

Another day has gone

I’m still all alone

How could this be

You’re not here with me

 

You never say goodbye

Someone tell me why

Why you’d have to go

You leave my world cold

 

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ears and say

 

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we are far apart

I am here to stay

Just Trying…

I tried out something known as the live writer into publishing this post… hopes it turns out well though… Haha =D

Anyways, I went for a nature trail walk today and it turned out horrendous. From the lack of planning and preparation. Gonna conquer it next week again. Hopes it turns out better this time. Anyone wants to go together we me? We are walking from vivo to mount faber then to henderson waves, then alexander arch then hort park followed by kent ridge park and end at NUS. Interested souls can message me. LOL.

Okies. This is actually just a trail that I a trying out if the live writter really works. Haha.

oohhhh…. and any souls have interest in going GENTING? I thought we could go for a great escape before school starts and everything starts crushing down again.

Chance upon this video wondered if any one has watched it before :)

A FLASHMOB IN RAFFLES PLACE!!

Kind of funn actually... Spice up boring life in urban Singapore. Hhaa
How I hope I can be part of it too.
This is actually an advertising technique by HTC yet throughout the whole dance, i didn't see any HTC phone. LOL
So is this a failure?
anywayss... It's so COOL!
People should do this more! and Singaporeans should be more engaged man!

Went out with HUimin today to queensway... only to realise that the distance between me and the rest of the people thriving in a competitive environment is getting larger and larger. Like what she said, if you think we changed, it's because of our environment. It screams in me that it's time to get independent. Just like what Yanting said, UNi is the time to learn to be independent. I always thought I am, and I think I still am. Just that emotions always and is forever getting in my way toward the utmost independence.

I told her today I felt as though I have wasted my youth away and I really did. I passed my youth without any shocking accomplishment. Didn't earn my first 10K, didn't have any outstanding achievements. Just an average plain Jane that I doubt anyone would remember. That's kind of sad, ya. Hope it's not too late now to make any impact I am intending to make. Still no major plans for any form of achievement.

If environment is a factor, I rather be in a competitive one. At least I wouldn't feel so useless and inferior. At least I wouldn't fear for my future. But, as always. It's an irony that people in the rural areas wants to go urban while urban souls wants to go rural.

Humans are the most complicated beings. One single organism can have multiple personalities. I never believed in psychology test because I always feel that I have multiple personality disorder whenever I do that. One test can produce the opposite result of another. But it could just that I do not have an outstanding ability. Afterall, how well do you know yourself?

INDEPENDENCE. Learn to protect yourself. This is not selfishness but survival.

This year's GE is kind of crazy...
It make me wonder if I was oblivious to politics in the previous GEs or did this year's GE turn out so happening.

Although Jurong GRC is a clear win for PAP
I think the campagin here sucks.
So much for me being so excited about the election
All I heard was that freaking PAP truck with the loud hailer.
and since Lim Boon Heng step down the new PAP member Desmond Lee is taking over his duties in my Area....
Saddd..... My LBH.

And thanks to the best friend run on sunday, I was at bedok stadium on Saturday night to witness the downfall of George Yeo's team in Aljunied. Witness the bimbo-ness of Tin PeiLing. Yupx. It's a pretty new experience and thrilling to be in such events. It's feels like you are in PAP's 战营 and getting brain washed by the PAP cause when they win, they typically mute the TV and deliver speech (when actually my eyes is on Yam Ah Mee instead). The reaction of the loss in Aljunied at Bedok stadium was epic. Pin drop silence when YAM annouced the vote counts and out of the pin drop silence, you hear two WHOO! from the young spectators there. Kind of fun though.

Next GE when our badge get to vote, PAP gotta do something more than what they are doing now. Only GRCs and SMC in the western area won quite comfortably (mean 60% and above) and the champion came from western Singapore too. Is the westies so fond of PAP? or is the that we have high population of elderies in the west?

Oh... and when I was having my psy tutorial today, my tutor was saying, it's not the younger generation than voted against the PAP. He said he talked to quite a number of his students and they voted for PAP and so who are the ones voting against?? The sandwich class, people who feels the pinch of whatever policy that the government come up with never seems to reach to them. Hhaa.

YIPEEE!
Cleared 3 papers.
2 more to go.

Well... It's a really bad idea to have a one week break between papers.
cause you have no mood to study...
AT ALL
Just hope I don't flunk my PF1103 and LAT1201.


年少时候谁没有梦
无意之中你将心愿透漏
就在你生日地时候
我将小小口琴送
最难忘记你地笑容
How I wish there is someone that I can sing this song to
Pathetically.

I am very tempted to post something very very personal here.
but without this being password protected.
there is still a risk the person would chance upon this post.
so... I shall hold the post till I start a word press account after my papers
I am still thinking of the web design.
And if I still remembers then what am I about to post today...

爱是愚人的国度
...
爱是自娱自乐演出

I feel like a nun these few days...
I haven't step out of jurong since saturday.
5days counting down to my first paper...
I can't wait for it to finish and enjoy my 3 months holidays.
Not gonna blog about my plans here because most likely I won't be completing anyone of them.
No point.

Hmm...
I think I studied too much for A-levels
that I am now very reluctant to study...
Although I did not step out of Jurong
I was watching shows at home instead of preparing for my exams.
No exam stress felt
and I am pretty worried about this ignorance.
Staring at the same page of notes for hours with nothing going in
this is bad man.
then.
I want to pull my pathetic CAP up.
not studying. I think i am pulling my CAP down instead.

Going back to stare at economics after lunch.
I want to either maintain or improve...
please don't deprove...

Anyways, I have this urge to start a word press account.
Should I?
Should I not?
We will see then.

Abit of relaxing to do. Listen to some music. Stephanie Sun's new album is not bad.
Try listening 愚人的国度 and 空口言.
I am very lazy to post youtube vedios here.
But I think both MVs are nice to watch =D

加油吧大家！


‘读读读读读到书好想吐好想哭
怕怕怕怕怕老是背书好白痴
你你你你你只会说你要第一
我就快要发扬巅峰’
-会读书 （林俊杰）

Just one moment of weakness.





能不能在哭一下下
把记忆彻底的分化
刚哭完我就会回家
眼泪我会提自己擦

I don't know how to comfort someone... I don't know if I did the right thing... but I felt kinda bad after that... cause I am of difference with the person I was 'back-stabbing'... So telling her about him is like telling her about me.... Fine. I know you don't know what the hell I am gabbling about :(


Feeling kind of NUAH these days thanks to some food poisoning... I was suppose to start on an asshole lab report like last week but procrastinated till thurs to do it. Yet, thurs I wasn't feeling well enough to even watch a 2.2hr movie without running to the toilet. Friday was typically spent sleeping at home. Literally. I think I have never slept as much as last friday. My sat is usually burnt because of work. So, it wasn't until today that I started on my lab report only to find how much of a horror it was. 88pages report... how on earth is 3 people going to finish by 1st april?! Well... we are able to finish it with sub standard quality maybe? Adding to it... my ssb report is still not finalised :(( Team mate just called to point out one BIG problem about another team mate which was evident to me on day one of our project. But me being me, always chose to ignore what others can't see. Selfish, ain't I? Now, I am eating my own rotten fruits. Well... who to blame? Following week is gonna be one hellish week.

Even though the stress is coming in now, it's still me to blame because all these could have been done smoothly and without any problems if I had planned my time well and not waste it on lazing arounf at home or even stare into my computer day in day out without doing any productive stuff. Who to blame? Myself again.

While I was having a temper with the 88pages report, I went onto the youtube (forever my fav site) and scouted on you-know-who and thought I should put this up. I couldn't stop laughing...



He should pay a fortune to buy this back... Haha :) The next one is pretty long and hence not recommended to watch unless you are super free.



He never fails to brighten up my day. Why oh why.... I wonder...

There are times in one's life that you find that you are aimless. Your life becomes such a routine that you don't even need to think or plan about where you are going next, cause you are going nowwhere. That's what I am feeling now. :(

I need to re-ignite my passion for something, there are so many things that I want to try yet I don't have the courage to. I act as though I am happy with my current status but deep down I am not, Tan Bei Yi wants a more fruitful life than the one she is currently in.

I need to be more determine to finish a task. I always leave things hanging because my thoughts drifted away. I never get things complete.

I need to find my goal in life, because it would be my north star to success. I don't want to be an aimless wanderer.

I hate to be alone, yet I don't take the first step. I act as though I am Chirppy dosen't mean thats me. I am just a lady who lack confidence, who have no interest in anything, who thinks she failed the world.

I know complaining with no actions does no good. I have been asked, is this a fact or a psychological problem. I myself know it's the latter, but I don't know how to change.

I hate to feel inferior to people yet I want to be humble. Contradicting. How I wish I had just half of HIS confidence. How I wish...

"When I am weak, then I am strong. 我脆弱却不退缩."

Changes.

Keeping a social life in Uni is hard.
Maybe I didn't make an effort to do that
but...
It's also maybe I don't want to do that...
The people I hang out with last Sem is already very small.
A trip overseas for the whole dec makes things worst.

School started before I even had a chance to breathe
and I found out how alone I am without the Hall and coursemates.
I chose to take modules different from theirs
and because of our timetables, tutorials slots are also different.
I can't see sustainability in this friendship.
It's something like a touch and go.
A hi-bye.

Changes.

Have I changed?
No idea.
Success is a matter of Strategy and Habits.
You cannot bring your old habits into a new environment.
Association is also very important.
Mix with the right people.
Recently, I have been bombed down with life triggers I would say.
Some words that people say that would inspire you to work towards your goals.
Negativity is a pattern, you cannot eliminate negativity but you can displace them.
You are born to win but conditioned to fail.
No one can make you upset unless they get your permission
People don't know how much you care until you show them.
Later, tomorrow and yesterday means never

I hope I have changed to a better person.
I hope I will change to a better person.
变化。

"I do not fear the man who does 10,000 different kick but I fear the man who does the same kick 10,000 times." -Bruce lee.

People, it's time to change. :)
Love.

Do you have dreams?
When you were 5, what are your dreams?
When you were 10, what are your dreams?
When you are 20, what would be your dreams?
When you are forty, what dreams would you have left?

People shrink their dreams to meet reality.
So do I.
I don't have a strong dream.
When I was 10, I dreamt of being a marine biologist.
But my mum said, you will not have rice to eat.
When I was 14, I dreamt of being a Interpol investigator/FBI.
But my grades told me, you are not observant enough.
When I was 16, I dreamt of being a physiotherapist.
But my parents said, please don't waste your time.
When I was 18, my dream was to be a construction project manager.
No one opposed to that. But I did recieve opposition when I chosed SDE over FASS.
Now I am 19, what's my dream?
Simple.
To lead a live of freedom.

Financial Freedom
Illness freedom
Freed from family problems
All kinds of freedom

Do you know what's the root cause of all problems?
MONEY

Money can cause all evil. It can break a family apart
It can cause people lose their lives cause they couldn't afford their medical expenses
It can cause people to live in poverty

But money dosen't drop from the sky.
I strongly believe in "Nothing ventured, nothing gain"

Without sowing, you won't reap.

有钱可以似鬼推磨
Heard of this before?
I might be money minded
But I know what money can do for all of us
Who dosen't like money?
You need money to realise your dreams no matter how small it is.
Your dreams might be just getting a well-paid job. You still need money to get a degree at least.
You need money to support your daily expenses.
Please don't tell me you food and housing dropped from the sky or god gave it to you.
If you are a filial child
You need money to support your parents such that they can retire and enjoy life instead of bringing back money to feed you and in return you complained that they don't care about you.

Something I have come across towards the end of last year might change me into someone you have never known, but I did not and will not regret.

Someone told me this today.
"If you did not make a concious decision to live a life of greatness, you have made the decision to be poor"

I am too niave....
So niave that I think I can be called STUPID.
I think I trust people too easily...
I get cheated too easily...

You came to ask HOW.
I explained to you.
Yet, you don't understand.
I offered you a reference.
I am not sympathetic because you are not doing well
everyone has their strengths and weakness in various subjects
I understand this.
So, I am helping you because I treat you as a friend.

A friend should help others when they need it.
So, I offered what I can for you.
My own work.
For REFERENCE.

That's a very open topic.
You can simply talk anything under the sun.
I sent you my work to let you see how I did it.
NOT FOR YOU TO COPY.

I wrote about electricity.
You talked about electricity.
I am fine with that.
Someone else out there would also be doing electricity.

BUT.
Why on earth is our application similar?!
Do you know how betrayed I felt when I saw your document?
Do you know how betrayed I felt when I saw your message?
All I felt at that moment was ANGER.

It came to me...
You came to ask for my help.
I did.
You said to trust you that you won't copy.
You just want see how things are done.
I did.

And in return for this favor
I open the document to see a similar report.
My one week of hardwork
became your report?
Your two days work?

You can talk about anything.
Even if its electricity
You can talk about something else.
Electricity has so many application
When I open the document
The topic of research is the same
The application is also about the same
At that moment
All I think of is...
我太天真了...

Do you know that a trust is broken here?
A trust takes 10years to build and one day to tear.
How do you expect me to trust you anymore?
Betrayal is all I feel now.

Maybe I misunderstood you
But I am sure that's not the case.
This is not the first time.
One assignment
we sent each other ours answers to compare.
And when you sent yours 2 days after we sent you.
I realised... Why are some of my answers in yours answers too?
I decided that it's ok. Those answers are quite standard.
This time.
I think it went over...
too over...
Unless you tell me that you are already thinking of doing static electricity from day 1
I have nothing to say
just that we think alike
but I know that's not the case.
You don't know what to do.
You asked me
I said electricity.
And the next thing i know
You are doing electricity too
and the next thing I know
we are both doing static electricity.

I really don't understand why did you do this to me.
But from today on
don't expect me to send you anything for reference.

From today on. Reference in my dictionary is the same as copying of ideas.

We might fall out after this event.
But currently
I don't care.
I don't need someone like you.
Someone who breaks trust.
Someone I trusted so much.

I will not be so niave anymore...

Recently, I've been listening to some old song by JJ Lin. Just post a few songs here.
I still don't know why I like him so so so so much... :X


Now that She's Gone. I find this song very touching... Maybe cause I took one module on visualization in design and technology, I can visualize damn clearly the scenes of this song --> My imaginary scenes. LOL... Actually not related at all... That asshole module has nothing to do with visualization in design and tech...


Trapped.

This is one song that I always liked. And so... It shall be put here so I will not go youtube and search it then end up watching other things...zzz...

OOHHHH!!! FINALS ARE COMING!!! I AM FEELING IT! THE STRESS.... oopppsss...

Anyways... For people who are feel depressed about issues... Don't have the thought of ending life. Recently I watched a show (fake one) and there is this quote the death girl always say

"不要轻易呼唤死亡 你想变成石头吗？"

"我是奈何桥的守护者 只有在你渡不过的时候 我才会变成死神"

So people... THINK TWICE... think twice...

I am SUPPOSED to draw my 59 figures like NOW. Instead, I came to BLOG. One of the 9 PMBOK processes, TIME MANAGEMENT.

Why am I in project and facilities management when I can't even manage my own life? LOL.

Anyway, I am living the the heart of a tornado. A tornado destroys everything in its path and the safest place to be is to be in its heart. My friends are stressed up by sucky mid terms and upcoming end term and projects. It's a PHEW that I have FINALLY cleared my PF1102 project and got shoot big time by the teacher. Yet, I am not feeling stressed up at all (that's why I am blogging instead of drawing!) I think I am going to DIE for end sems. Oopss...

I think I aim too high for me to even reach it's TIP. But what's the purpose of life without a AIM? AIMS are supposed to be unreachable. If you can reach it, it's not an aim. I think I heard it from Adam Khoo course I suppose. I am aiming for a First Class (too high, too high for the situation now) but looks like it's just a dream that will never come true? AIMS should be set high to be unreacheable BUT it must have the illusion that it is reachable so that we don't feel dejected everytime.

Ohhh.... and for the last post, it's Que Sera NOT Que SARAH.... LOL. I feel like banging my head on the wall.

Anyways, GAMBATTE to all. NUS for End term, NTU for MID terms and your end term in DEC.

Life past in a flash, cherish it.

Once I recieved a letter to SMG labels. And it wrote, "Only a dead man has seen the end of war." Every moment of live, we are in a survival war. Only when you die, you see the end. :)

Quitters never win, Winners never quit.

I am proud to be a EMP-er =D

Great spirit or mediocre mind. Which one are you?

Yesterday there was this supposely inspirational talk at Eusoff formal dinner. While... I think I have a mediocre mind. That's why I wasn't listening to the talk. Anyways, today morning over breakfast, I don't know why our talk went into academic grades. But we where talking about this girl who had to S/U one of her A- module to sustain a 5.0 CAP.

So I commented that that is a damn stupid thing to do. Getting 5.0 CAP and 4.5 CAP, it's still a first class hounors. Then I said, getting Bs you still can get a second class hons which is relatively good and evelyn agreed. And Yanting said, satisfying which what you currently have and not moving forward is a thought of a mediocre mind. I said I would be satisfied with getting Bs which I think it's relatively a good grade (provided you see how scary the bell-curve of that module is) and Yanting rebutted. You got you B because of moderation. Which means, half of the cohort is better that you, what is there to feel satisfied about? It's not the grades, you can be getting 27/30 which is obviously an A but get a B because of the bell curve. You yourself is contented with the 27 marks, but as compared to the cohort, you are lousy, half of the cohort own you.

And then I was wondering, why the hell is there a bell curve here?! Competitiveness... Why does the education system wants to achieve by being such acedamic oriented? The country looks at grades, the society looks at grades, you look at grades, everyone looks at grades, but who knows how much effort you had put in, how good your results are supposed to be. This place leaves no room for error. One mistake and out you go.

I am hitting the bare minimum on the B bell curve, but I am contented, cause I am getting the results I wanted, but not the grades....Hiaz... maybe I have a mediocre mind. I don't belong here...

Recently, Ms Chua posted something on facebook:

"Que Sarah, sarah, whatever will be will be, the future not ours to see, what will be will be."