I am too niave....
So niave that I think I can be called STUPID.
I think I trust people too easily...
I get cheated too easily...

You came to ask HOW.
I explained to you.
Yet, you don't understand.
I offered you a reference.
I am not sympathetic because you are not doing well
everyone has their strengths and weakness in various subjects
I understand this.
So, I am helping you because I treat you as a friend.

A friend should help others when they need it.
So, I offered what I can for you.
My own work.
For REFERENCE.

That's a very open topic.
You can simply talk anything under the sun.
I sent you my work to let you see how I did it.
NOT FOR YOU TO COPY.

I wrote about electricity.
You talked about electricity.
I am fine with that.
Someone else out there would also be doing electricity.

BUT.
Why on earth is our application similar?!
Do you know how betrayed I felt when I saw your document?
Do you know how betrayed I felt when I saw your message?
All I felt at that moment was ANGER.

It came to me...
You came to ask for my help.
I did.
You said to trust you that you won't copy.
You just want see how things are done.
I did.

And in return for this favor
I open the document to see a similar report.
My one week of hardwork
became your report?
Your two days work?

You can talk about anything.
Even if its electricity
You can talk about something else.
Electricity has so many application
When I open the document
The topic of research is the same
The application is also about the same
At that moment
All I think of is...
我太天真了...

Do you know that a trust is broken here?
A trust takes 10years to build and one day to tear.
How do you expect me to trust you anymore?
Betrayal is all I feel now.

Maybe I misunderstood you
But I am sure that's not the case.
This is not the first time.
One assignment
we sent each other ours answers to compare.
And when you sent yours 2 days after we sent you.
I realised... Why are some of my answers in yours answers too?
I decided that it's ok. Those answers are quite standard.
This time.
I think it went over...
too over...
Unless you tell me that you are already thinking of doing static electricity from day 1
I have nothing to say
just that we think alike
but I know that's not the case.
You don't know what to do.
You asked me
I said electricity.
And the next thing i know
You are doing electricity too
and the next thing I know
we are both doing static electricity.

I really don't understand why did you do this to me.
But from today on
don't expect me to send you anything for reference.

From today on. Reference in my dictionary is the same as copying of ideas.

We might fall out after this event.
But currently
I don't care.
I don't need someone like you.
Someone who breaks trust.
Someone I trusted so much.

I will not be so niave anymore...

Recently, I've been listening to some old song by JJ Lin. Just post a few songs here.
I still don't know why I like him so so so so much... :X


Now that She's Gone. I find this song very touching... Maybe cause I took one module on visualization in design and technology, I can visualize damn clearly the scenes of this song --> My imaginary scenes. LOL... Actually not related at all... That asshole module has nothing to do with visualization in design and tech...


Trapped.

This is one song that I always liked. And so... It shall be put here so I will not go youtube and search it then end up watching other things...zzz...

OOHHHH!!! FINALS ARE COMING!!! I AM FEELING IT! THE STRESS.... oopppsss...

Anyways... For people who are feel depressed about issues... Don't have the thought of ending life. Recently I watched a show (fake one) and there is this quote the death girl always say

"不要轻易呼唤死亡 你想变成石头吗？"

"我是奈何桥的守护者 只有在你渡不过的时候 我才会变成死神"

So people... THINK TWICE... think twice...

I am SUPPOSED to draw my 59 figures like NOW. Instead, I came to BLOG. One of the 9 PMBOK processes, TIME MANAGEMENT.

Why am I in project and facilities management when I can't even manage my own life? LOL.

Anyway, I am living the the heart of a tornado. A tornado destroys everything in its path and the safest place to be is to be in its heart. My friends are stressed up by sucky mid terms and upcoming end term and projects. It's a PHEW that I have FINALLY cleared my PF1102 project and got shoot big time by the teacher. Yet, I am not feeling stressed up at all (that's why I am blogging instead of drawing!) I think I am going to DIE for end sems. Oopss...

I think I aim too high for me to even reach it's TIP. But what's the purpose of life without a AIM? AIMS are supposed to be unreachable. If you can reach it, it's not an aim. I think I heard it from Adam Khoo course I suppose. I am aiming for a First Class (too high, too high for the situation now) but looks like it's just a dream that will never come true? AIMS should be set high to be unreacheable BUT it must have the illusion that it is reachable so that we don't feel dejected everytime.

Ohhh.... and for the last post, it's Que Sera NOT Que SARAH.... LOL. I feel like banging my head on the wall.

Anyways, GAMBATTE to all. NUS for End term, NTU for MID terms and your end term in DEC.

Life past in a flash, cherish it.

Once I recieved a letter to SMG labels. And it wrote, "Only a dead man has seen the end of war." Every moment of live, we are in a survival war. Only when you die, you see the end. :)

Quitters never win, Winners never quit.

I am proud to be a EMP-er =D

Great spirit or mediocre mind. Which one are you?

Yesterday there was this supposely inspirational talk at Eusoff formal dinner. While... I think I have a mediocre mind. That's why I wasn't listening to the talk. Anyways, today morning over breakfast, I don't know why our talk went into academic grades. But we where talking about this girl who had to S/U one of her A- module to sustain a 5.0 CAP.

So I commented that that is a damn stupid thing to do. Getting 5.0 CAP and 4.5 CAP, it's still a first class hounors. Then I said, getting Bs you still can get a second class hons which is relatively good and evelyn agreed. And Yanting said, satisfying which what you currently have and not moving forward is a thought of a mediocre mind. I said I would be satisfied with getting Bs which I think it's relatively a good grade (provided you see how scary the bell-curve of that module is) and Yanting rebutted. You got you B because of moderation. Which means, half of the cohort is better that you, what is there to feel satisfied about? It's not the grades, you can be getting 27/30 which is obviously an A but get a B because of the bell curve. You yourself is contented with the 27 marks, but as compared to the cohort, you are lousy, half of the cohort own you.

And then I was wondering, why the hell is there a bell curve here?! Competitiveness... Why does the education system wants to achieve by being such acedamic oriented? The country looks at grades, the society looks at grades, you look at grades, everyone looks at grades, but who knows how much effort you had put in, how good your results are supposed to be. This place leaves no room for error. One mistake and out you go.

I am hitting the bare minimum on the B bell curve, but I am contented, cause I am getting the results I wanted, but not the grades....Hiaz... maybe I have a mediocre mind. I don't belong here...

Recently, Ms Chua posted something on facebook:

"Que Sarah, sarah, whatever will be will be, the future not ours to see, what will be will be."

Self protection is often necessary, especially when you are all alone.

Psychological walls are easy to build but difficult to tear. 8 months of recuperation, the walls are up in just 2months. Why? I want to protect myself. Protect myself from the harm, the pain that others will give to me.

I never wanted a strong bond between people because I am afraid that you will leave one day... Away from me, to lead your own life. I want to protect myself from this pain.

I never wanted to risk because I am afraid of the consequences if all fails. I am protecting myself form harm.

I never wanted to talk first because I am afraid of your first impression on me. I am protecting myself.

I never wanted to express myself because I am afraid that you will hate who I really am. I am just protecting myself from harm.

Psychological walls are build for a reason. My reason. To protect myself. I need no effort to build walls, but I need tremendous amount of effort to tear down the walls... Why on earth am I letting the walls up again? Am I prepared for a war that I have to lock all gates?

I am just afraid where my threshold lies. I have a bad feeling that if things exceeds threshold, I LOSE EVERYTHING... EVERYTHING

我已经习惯了
改不了了
为什么你们要这样对我
你们知不知道我有多难受
明明是朋友
为什么我种觉得格格不入

不是我要把心墙拉起
是逼不得已

拜托你们不要再伤害我了

一个又一个 排队等缘分
前面丢后面捡
捡到的变恋人丢的变路人

走了一个忘了一个才懂眼泪对自己最残忍

Why should I feel down because of you.
I am not going to torture myself.
All because of you...

Give me time...
I will get it over with...
This sucks...

I want to learn to draw a line between like and love...
I thought I know...
But now...
I realise...
I DON'T...

SCREW IT.

我没有说谎 请别以为你有多难忘

Have you ever felt this sense of empty that will make you feel outcasted?? I am feeling this right now... but I can't pin point the reason...

I am not outcasted... but I suddenly feel tired to even say a single word or talk to you... I suddenly feel I couldn't take it anymore... I suddenly get an emotional wave that I myself don't understand...

I am down today... Luckily there Universal Studio today... which made me feel a little bit better as I get to see Cheryl and Hsier... :))) and this is the first time to universal studio, I think the rides are just so so... the mummy ride which many say is suppose to be the most exciting one... I think ok only leh....

Adding this one... I am down for two day in one week since I step into UNI... This shall not continue... I am not going to emo at one corner like what I did back then... I tried... But I think I am just not a social person... I suppose I don't leave a good impression for people :(

Why can't you share your problems with me?
Why can't you just talk more to me?
Why do you influence my thoughts?
Why do I care so much about you?
Can you please tell me the answer?

为什么我只有单恋和暗恋的分而没有恋爱的分？

I smiled and say goodbye to you and from the moment I turn, the smile faded into a string of curse....

I can't help but blog about how pissed I am an hour ago such that I am thinking about how to blog about my pissness in the bathroom...

Let me tell you what the **** happened just now.... I was suppose to go for IFG netball today, we are scheduled for match at 7 and 8. So I packed my happy went down to the netball courts. And in the end I came back to Eusoff without a single bead of sweat. Why? Cause I didn't play a single match. We played 8 quarters for god sake and I play none? I know my skills are lousy to the core... But shouldn't you guys at least let me play a quarter??? So much for me going to all their trainings... I only missed the last training which i suppose is the most crucial training yesterday and I felt as though I am a lost sheep neglected by the farmer... No one talked to me, no one care about me... their players are so damn tired after 8 quarters and they still insist on putting them in when Camillie and Me was sitting down there not playing any single game... If you have no intention to put us in, please inform us so that we wouldn't have to waste our time looking at your lousy skills! And what pissed me off the most is that I turned up for their trainings when no freshmen came.... I seriously don understand what's wrong with their negligence to me... just because I didn't turn up for training yesterday? FUCK OFF! At first all I wanted was the IFG tee.... then after a few trainings, I felt that yes I want to play for SDE... and this is what I got for being so enthu? THANKS ALOT! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!

Even now I still feel damn pissed off... Thinking if I shall turn up tml... Cause I really wanna play :(

And today... I found out how small the world is.... I saw someone that I didn't think I would see again... I thought after JVS netball, our paths would never cross again... then while we were playing Bizad... I was looking at the GS and look turn into stare and then OMG! SHE LOOK DAMN FAMILIAR!!! then next moment.... OMFG! she is adeline.... and her shooting is omg de good lahx... for the last quater, she shot 10 goals in 7mins.... damn good... seriously... Had a short talk with her :))

There is a dark angel in me saying... SERVE YOU RIGHT SDE, FOR NOT WINNING....

Ahem... Yesterday's informal dinner for EMP is damn nice.... Looks like I got a cool and fun team to work with :) I am damn excited about going to LAOS now... but pretty horrified that it's a three weeks trip.... afterall, i haven been to a third world country... and when I go... I am going for full 3 weeks!!! Anyway.. I am still excited... be it the planning... the pre event and event itself.... I am really looking forward to it.... and I think I am damn lucky to be in... cause there is like damn little freshmen... I wonder what makes me stand out from the other 60plus people and be the 22 ones going to Laos.... and the idea of spending my 19th Birthday in LAOS excites me even more!!!! =DDDDD OMG! I can't contain my excitement!!!!!

I decided to withdraw from Eusoff Sports Management Commitee... Cause I have been saying I need to get my piorities right.... I think school, work and EMP is enough for me to juggle at this point of time... I no need another Eusoff SCM to bomb me down.... I hope I made the right choice... I hope with all my might I wouldn't regret from withdrawing from SCM...

It has been one month since school started for me... But it felt as though school started for years... Let me see what I have now in hand to do... Hmm.... Two projects, one term paper, 2 assignments. Yupx.... and two mid term test coming up...

Current status?
Haven't start a single shit of revision. I seriously don't believe that I am that busy that I don't have time to sit down and study.... I strongly believe that it's because of time management. My time management is damn bad... So what am I doing about it? Nothing. Maybe it's cause I am too tired such that the moment I hit the bed, I slept through to morning. People with insomia could try staying in hall. You wouldn't have problems sleeping, I guarantee. Well... and I need alot of sleep... Nights at Eusoff is so happening that you seriously cannot study at night. So it's only left with the days. I have long breaks between lesson which is like nice hour to mug... but... I don't know what the hell I am doing...

Wed is suppose to be my free day... and ya... I did study... But some how or another, someone or something will happen in eusoff and I cannot study anymore... Hiaz...

I must learn to get my piorities right.

PF1102 is fun... but why do I get such a rigid as a wall tutor? Hmm...
ST1131 is already boring enough... Why do I get a even boring and robot teacher? I actually shaded many disagrees in her evaluation sheet :X
PC1326 is boring and crazy.. but why do I get a good tutor?
GEK1527 has a good lecturer... But why do I always fall asleep in his lecture??
PF1101 is ____ can't use a word to decribe...

Complains, complains and more complains... When would I learn to look into the root of the problem and stop complaining?

Off to Dinner... I am in Project EMP to Laos... Happy about getting in... Sad that I don't know a single soul there :( Anyway... make friends... Introvert is not an excuse...

YOG has officially ended with hugs and kisses and new friends found. One bad thing about being a bike marshal is that all you see is the athelete ZOOM past you even before you take a good look at their faces... So yanting was like commenting this this this person is damn cute... then I was like... I only had time to identify their countries... Anyway... Jap won the women's and New Zealand won the males. Team Relay (yes there is such thing), America won. I think the team relay is pretty crap actually...

There is a total of 3 race days and on the first which is the women's competition, the volunteer system was so damn screwed up that the bike marshals are still at the carpark waiting for the leader when the YOuths arrived... and by the time we are deployed... The atheletes are already warming up.... second day and third was better, but we got depolyed at 7 when the race only starts at 9... so I was so damn bored that I sang JJ's album from No.1 to No.7 and played sudoku. Somehow I think yanting's job as a manual timing staff is more fun... at least can see handsome guys can...

Then there's a crash during the female games that cause Singapore to came in last :( and Clara Wong cycled 3km with a punctured wheel from the crash... cause the nearest wheel station is like 3km away... and according to Yanting, when she changed from bike to run... the 27th runner has already come back... and mind you... there is like only 30 ppl competing :( Jap won and the girl is damn pretty... and really got the high school look... Hmm... if you realised... most of the athelete for this YOG don't look like thier age...

Then the guys... I donno what position did Scott Ang get... but one of the last... nothing much about the guys... but Arron Barclay is already in the lead during cycling... so I wasn't suprise that he won though... hahaa.... and kevin macdowell is cool...

Team relay was yesterday... the team relay went like that.... the best two males and females of Asia forms Asia team 1 and then best two males and females in Europe forms Europe team 1.... so everyone was divided into continent... competitor who does not get into their continents team cause their timing is too bad forms the world team (psst... both Singaporean are in the World Team). So the race went like that... I think it's pretty crap cause you don't need the race to start to know that which continents will be in the lead.... So... the race started... by the time the second player cycled, there are gaps all over the place... Usually they come in packs... like one pack... then half a min later the second pack... but this relay... it's many many small packs... and America, Oceania, Europe and Asia was leading in the first pack... Wah... the jap girl is really pro man... she is taking the lead... maybe a half second lead only lahx... but Asia was already lagging from the first bid. By the time the third player comes to the bike course, it's only left with America, Oceania and Europe competing... Aisa? Now where to be found. I think Asia's 3rd leg is not very good... cause according to Yanting, the jap lady came in first.... then by the time the 4th player cycle past... America OWNED the game... Oceania's last leg happen to be Arron Barclay... but too large a distance to catch up though... sad... and so... let's get back... WHERE ON EARTH IS SINGAPORE? Last... cannot blame... They already lost in the first leg... :( Scott Ang was the last leg... and you know wad... he cycled past me as though he is leisure cycling lahx... I got a nice look at him... The everyone waited for him seh... so dua pai! Then yanting told me that she can actually understand why this happens lahx... it's like half the competitors already changed from bike to run and he is still waiting at the start point waiting for the third leg to come back... OMG... if it's me I would also sian diao one lolx....

So YOG ended nice... I enjoyed although I had problems waking up at 4am in the morning and the food is not so nice.... but... I really enjoyed it...

And thanks to YOG, I haven attended any of my PF1102: Fundamentals of project management..... Thanks arh... my foundation is going to be rotten... and I think I am pretty hard working to even attend lecture after my duty... haha... also cause I also donno wad to do in the hostel... so just go chit chat lolx... Not that I have listened to any lectures till now... now I understand why my seniors said there is no need to atten lecture... cause the lecturer is like talking to himself and you can just walk out in front of his eyes... but i feel guilty not listening and then today's stats I was trying to make sense out of what the lect is saying... but I don understand... siao liao... tut no need do lerx....

Staying in Eusoff Hall is so damn FUN!!! But to ex lerx... My house dosen't print notes for god sake... I almost got a heart attack when I got the bills... OMG.... and they are like increasing the price next sem can... if they lower the price maybe I might consider staying... cause it's reallt fun and full of activities everyday.... I haven't been in my room at nights before 11 cause the hall is very happening having Inter-block games... Since last monday...I had Handball, volleyball and netball matches.... :) and you get to eat and chit chat with people... FUN FUN FUN!!! But too ex... I can't pay that much for fun... and I concluded that staying is hostel although fun... you don get to study.... I don listen in lecture, I don revise in my room... am I like getting myself ready to get kick out of PFM??? and I although I don believe this came out of Yanting's mouth... but she said staying in hall made her realise the importance of studying... maybe cause I still dosen't have any exams or tut... I don't feel the stress she is having now...

Ok... this is like a damn long post... cause too much happend this week... imagine. Monday- YOG woke up at 4am and then at night opening ceremony until 9plus. Tues- Handball game till 11. Wed- Volleyball game till 11. Thurs- YOG at 4am, handball game till 11. Fri-Netball till 11. This is fun and full of life... but at the same time... it get kill from the lack of sleep... I am so damn glad that I had wed free. I slept through wed... like a dead lock... Poor Yanting... i bet she is damn tired... she said staying in hall is like a never ending camp... You lack sleep everyday... But I told her... After YOG and IBG... you can experience peace and sleep... =D

Maybe I haven't been schooling for like full 8 months.... That's why it's pretty hard to adapt to current schooling.... :(

My timetable sucks I agree... But since I am staying in a hostel, it dosen't matter to me if I have like 4 hours intervals between lessons... Cause I can simply go back my room and slack... and my friends too... just come in and chit chat and slack...

But the feeling of school has started is abit... I don't know how to put it into words... but it feels like BOOMS and everything fell down on your shoulders... not a burden... it's just something that takes some time to relief bahx... or maybe I got myself into too much commitments... YOG is taking up quite abit of my time as well as sleep... I personally think that first lects are not really impt lahx... and uni lect are very likely to be webcasted... So no worries... but I don't know where my worry lies... good thing tut haven't start yet...

Eusoff hall is fun... I just had my IBG tryout yesterday... tried handball, FLOORBALL, netball and volleyball.... hahaa... long time since I play sports though.... one good thing about staying in a hostel is that you can always find sports kahkis... I am pretty suprised that my block has quite a number of past netballers... :) YEAH! we will win the IBG... haha...

I am tiredddddd =( from YOG actually.... took an half hour power nap this afternoon before going to class... if not by now I might just be on my bed lerx lolx.... hahaa... Missed the Eusoff Bash at Butter Fac cause I am too shag and dowan go spoil atmosphere lahx... tml still have to wake up early.... for YOG....

haiz... hope everything will smooth sail after my volunteering work ends...

Trying to struggle between school, work and life.... why can't they compromise?

I always wanted to put up a post... but I am just too busy... What am I dong for the past few weeks? Hmm... I can't remember... your friend here has really bad memory... Maybe that's why she couldn't survive Singapore education... HOHOHO!

Hmm... I donno where to start... So I shall start with the most recent one... Yesterday was NUS ANNUAL RAG DAY and also some YOG torch relay thingy day... I SERIOUSLY CAN'T BELIEVE SDE LOST RAG!!! Ours is really damn nice... wait till my senior uploads the videos and pics... i will post it up here... even seiyu and yanting says it's nice.... But i didn't stay for full RAG though... cause I gotta rush off for work... :( anyway... I think I can watch it on youtube anyway.... HIHO HIHO ALL THE WAY WE GO! School of Med did quite well too... their dance esp cheerleading is superb... You really couldn't believe those would be our future DOCS.... OMG! Faints... too bad they didn't win... BUT I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY DID SCI WIN MAN! Their float is like... dance so-so only... Our dance might not be as nice as some but our float is REALLY nice... and our costumes are cute... imagine herseys, kinder suprise, kitkats, snickers, M&Ns and ferrero roche dancing... HAHAHAa.... Anyway.... sad...

Hmm.... what else happened over the pass few weeks... Flag was fun though... maybe cause it's my first time... hahaaaa.... but the fun is ruined by me needing to fill two cans one belonging to SDE while the other belonging to Eusoff... Anyway people... I am staying the a hostel... feel free to drop by to slack... provided i must be in lahx... ahhaaaaa.... Now packing to 'move house' on national day... HAHAA....

Oh... and I managed to plan a 4day week.... so my wed is free... any souls wanna ask me out... WED is a good day... cause I would be working on sats and sunday is most likely gonna be study and tut day :)

If you really wanna know what i am up to the past few weeks... facebook seems to be a good place.... I am really sorry if your feeds are like flooded with my pics... OMG... don lose your appitete though... it's gonna stop... hahaaa....

Kudos...

I have to say this...

I LOVE GIER!

I think they are the greatest group of people I have known :) They are take initiatives, they bond very well and they are a very very nice bunch of people... and just recently... I found out that there are many rich kids in my OG.... Muahahaaa.... Veron should know about this cause I was damn excited when I talk about it over the phone yesterday...

But... Horrer strikes with every outing I go with them... First outing I went, Melody told me she is changing from PFM to RE... My room matteeee!!!! Then 2nd outing I went, Meldoy told me she CHANGED to RE... Then 3rd outing I went, Chrystal (the last lady in PFM, cause we only have 3 ladies in PFM) said she want to change to RE too!!! OMG! Why everyone going RE... Make until I wanna go RE also...

Rah... But I wanna blog about happy memories with GIER....

Yesterday I went for QET (which totally sux... I bet I will flunk like crazy if they mark the GP way... Cause I don even know which one is my SA and which one is my OA) then after that we went to Melody's house for GIER annual sports day... And for the Nth time, I took ZhengHao's car to Yishun with Shernice. Then while waiting for a type punture merz to reach NorthPoint, we ate swensens...Then after that we took YingXiang Merz to Melody's house... Short but damn shuang trip... first time I take Mercedes Benz can... Although I know nuts about car... I do know that Merz is damn ex... Then we played Bball at Melody's house... wah... Damn long never play ball, the grip also not there liaox... Ball keep kena tap away by esther... Maybe I am too used to playing Netball that I am not used to people tapping away the ball from my grip (cause this is a foul in Netball), so Esther keep tapping away my ball that I feel damn irritated for one moment, I played rough... Hiaz... Hope she is not offended or anything... Then switch to tennis... although I have played tennis numerous times... I still can play tennis... Aiyah... arm no strength lahx... haha... Then after that went to stone in the function room... play our fav game, murderer... and the new version of murderer... Maybe not new to some... but new to me lahx...

While we ate dinner... I found out that Chrystal is transferring to RE also =C... Our OG only got 4 PFM souls... Then now left only 2 if Chrystal is transferring... The Peter (PFM) say g0 RE better... So... A PFM senior is telling me to go RE.... WHY? So darren was saying RE is very broad-based curiculum can work in bank and ya-da ya-da... So I listen already also think RE not bad... Then for one moment I really thought I chose the wrong course to study lehx... is like why would someone in PFM tell you to go RE? Ok... maybe he don like... who know... so, I was fretting the whole night if I should transfer too... and till now... still no conclusion... damn sian...

Every career has competition... Just like Project and Facilities Management and Civil Engineering is competing against each other. Real Estate although able to work in banks competes with Biz finance who would be a better choice for employers. Real Estate can study about valuation of land, how to make the land more worth the money so can PFM. PFM manages the entire project (which don't you think it's damn cool to like tell people, I managed the project of the building of IR or some mega construction project? ok... maybe it's only cool for me...) while RE is only part of the project... I don't know why is there a issue against PFM?

I don't want to let people influence my choice that easily now... Just like what XueShuang said... When you made to choice to put PFM as your first choice, you have already weigh out its pros and cons, you thought about the future prospect clearly and made the choice which at that time, you think was right... So no point regretting you made the right or wrong choice... because you can't see the future... Maybe you study PFM and then turn out to have a sucessful career, would you like turn back and say... oh that time I made the correct and wonderful choice... or you transfer to RE and ended up in some ulu place, are you going to say... I shouldn't have transferred back then... You won't... Because the past dosen't know the future...

如果时间可以倒流我现在所拥有的一切都不会那么-珍贵
我无法预知未来所以我得相信我现在所做的决定

I decided that today is a nice day to post something cause I am HOME!!!

Yesterday, I went for an OG outing at kallang leisure park... First time there... I know it sounds weird... Reach there at 1 and waited until 1.30pm... Then organiser only appeared at 4pm.... -_-''' Had pastamania for lunch and wanted to go bowling... But we forgotten that yesterday was youth day and all the lanes were full... We have to wait for 7 lanes before us... :( Well... Actually I am happy... Cause I no need to pay to throw my money into the lang gau... So we ended up going Kirstine's house earlier than planned... Actually I wasn't going cause I am leaving for work... But since we left for her house early... and someone volunteered to drive us to the nearest MRT station later... I agreed to go lolx... And I will never regret this decision to go man... Her house... is super big... She might just be the richest friend I know... We took ZhengHao's car from kallang to her house... then we parked outside her house... Then the guys look at the car parked in the porch and commented "this car can buy a HBD flat" I was like O.0. At first I thought she lives in a condo cause they were talking about throwing people in the swimming pool... It turns out that the swimming pool is in her house! Although not olympic pool... it has a nice design...Her house living room looks like a resort lahx... Chairs... Then luo di chuang then outside is the pool... Ok... I don't know how to describe... Then we went to the fourth level... and OMG... She has a pool table... Everyone was like... Take the stick and play liaox lolx... Then after that we played some lame game called the drinking game and mixed whisky with chrysanthemum... ok... Then 4plus left her house and YewHan send us to Paya lebar... And I went to work at BoonLay! Rah... So far away.... :(

Anyway... I will never dream of leaving in that type of house... I rather have a small and warm family... and somehow... I pro HBD :))

Well... Sometimes I just feel like quitting Q&M cause of the lost time with friends... BEcause most people work office hours in the morning... so they would be free at night... But I work at night... So most outings or gatherings would be held at night... and I would be working... Haiz... But I just signed the letter of appointment and they paid for my CSP course... By moral... I shouldn't just quit like that... and my mum was like saying maybe you just work until the end of july bahx... But if I really wanna work until the end of july... I have to tell them now... 2weeks notice... Haiz.. Delima...

Oh... Got video to post :) It's JJ Lin lahx... Who's video would I be posting ma...



I think it's a wonderful performance. :) watch it if you are free :)

I post pretty seldom... although not as slow as VERON LOH But when I post... It's gonna be long...

Donno how many weeks have passed since I posted something on my blog.... But I shall start with my customer service course which happened... HMM.... two weeks ago...

The company I am with sent us for training cause they got much more complains than compliments I suppose... So every morning for full five days... I woke up damn early in the morning, squeeze the freaking train and travel all the way from Jurong to FarrerPark Dental Centre... Then... cause city square mall is an eco-mall...their air-con only opens at 9.30am.... and lesson starts at 9... Ok... Yah... So we were toasted hot in the training room... Then the course is not the type where you sit down there and sleep and listen... You have to be some service host and banquet host to entertain and keep people feel welcomed... I think my group is a pretty pro one... Hahaa.... Cause QinYi has alot of ideas and we just need to polish it abit and then ta-da! Yup.... and so the teacher praised us for the bingo game on baquet host day :))) Then there is a fashion show... That you have to self-intro... hahaa.... I think I am pretty out-spoken there... Ok... This is weird... But yes.... my teacher classified me under confident and out-spoken... so I we were given 1min for self intro... I haven finish and the teacher cut me... not that it mattersss.... Cause I was just crapping... Then last day... Dr CEO came... Oh my tian... He is pretty suave that day... Too bad I did not take any photo with him... oH... and that's the end of my five day course... You can now call me a Certified Service Professional... It Govt-cert :))

So... This is the group photo... qinyi standing beside the DR CEO....

Anyway... Two sundays ago... I went to MALAYSIA to buy my Nitendo DS Lite.... OMG.... It's like finnaaaallllyyyyy.... I have been wanting to buy it like half a year ago... Hahaaaa.... Oh... And I know it's childish... But I am playing pokemon diamond now.... Muahahaaa.... Cooking MAMa is also fun! oH... Veron.... Cause lend me harvest moon??? Please....

So after the course was already wed... Had a full day work at BoonLay on thurs and off for camp on fri... And I borrowed sleeping bag from Veron for NOTHING! and still have to trouble her to bring it to the JP clinic... :(

Friday... Woke up early to find it RAINING cats and dogs... Not dampen actually... ahahahaa... then when I got out of the house... my area is only drizzling... Then took 99 and switch 183... OMG... Clementi looks like it's gonna FLOOD! and I have to carry such a mega bag and squeeze into the 183 which happens to go into sci park... so in the end I was late 3 mins... Not much lahx...

Then got into the usual ice-breaking games... And found out that I am in the same OG as XianMei! Wootssss..... Ok... then while waiting for the rain to stop... We thought of cheers... With so many JJ cheers... I couldn't think of any... LOL.... Then xianmei was suggest... .....Step you like a ginger bread...... Then I was thinking... we have this cheer... but cannot remember what's in front... LOL... SO gave up... We ended up with PJ cheer that goes... (gier ichiban sa-sa bo chio wan sui... and remix it and ended with Oh yea oh yea oh yea Gier... you are the only one Gier come on lets shout it out loud OH GEIR!) and then WE WILL WIN THE WAR! Ended with a-ya-banja-B-banja.... LOL... interesting cheer... After lunch we proceed to amazing race... wah... The games are.... Normal... Nothing much to talk about... But I am pretty suprised that I actually won in a sicssors paper stone game... this... is a miracle... and I had a number of blue blacks after a ballon stepping game....Then we had emitasia talk where everyone slept through... At night... horrified by Mass Dance session... Wah... I thought mass dance is suppose to be easy... and so WHAT'S WITH THAT LOCKING AND POPPING!!! haha... But it's a pretty cool dance... After mass dance... Is SP (Secret Partner) time... Kena blind folded and talking to someone for 1.30 hr... Omg.... It's pretty bad lahx... cause me and my sp is the type that don really talk alot one... But She is my room mate's friend and also in PFM! WHEEEE! Can go school together! So we keep falling into silence and listening to the next table's convo... which is Yew Han and Grace... Haha... and cut it scaring the two... LOL.... Then by the time we turn in for sleep is like 2 plus.... We slept in yusoff hall... and 2 person to one single room... So I got a PFM partner MELODY! WHeeee... She is a very very nice and talkative girll.... haaahhaaa.... we cocluded that the bed is enough for the both of us to sqeeze in... So we ended up not using the sleeping bag... LOL...

Next day we drew our own flags (or rather for my group we got the Archi and ID ppl to do it) and the session ended with a fake freshie hidden within us... Ended up to be someone I was so shocked of... I even mass danced with her... So everyone was like in a state of shock that for full 30mins or so... no one talked to her...then we had something like the kinetic warfare.... Though I was not wet... cause we played water bomb I was not hit... then played some obstacle couse there was not water except for the pool... HAHA... The there is a gross thing we played captian's ball with Cabbage orange and tou-fu... EWWWWW..... The canvas soccer I excuse myself cause I hate having soap on me... and I just heal from my rashes... I am not going to let it come up again... Welll but it still did... haiz... thanks to sentosa.... Then afternoon we had this... I find it meaningless... we were blind folded and walked around the school... and our OGLs was like... this is the place where we study and find our resources... I was like... HMM.... we are blind folded... you tell us got use meh???? Anyway... at night there's rag publicity... I want to join RAG!!!! Float or dance also can... BUt I donno how to dance... so me and ShangYU decided to join float instead... haha.... At night went for supper at west coast MAC.... Came back with 9 girls squeeze in the backseat of peter's car....

Day 3 at sentosa... NOthing much other than soaking in sea water and playing water captian ball... If I know how to swim... I might just have gone down... hahaaa.... And the dog and bone is fun... Which ended up with Malcom destorying our victory... hahaaa.... Dosen't matterr.... LOL... Came back and reveal who's your SP and then me and my sp was like watching a show lahx... Cause we are the second to come out... haha... and then yilong and his partner got secret code one leh... hahaa.... damn easy to find... LOL... Cute couple.... :) So dead tired... After the SP it's like only 9pm? And guess what we did? Watched World Cup in the LT... Germany VS England... 4-1... LOL.... This is the first time I was so slack in the camp that I watch soccer... but I fell asleep halfway through cause I don't watch and not interested.... After that we went for supper... Wah-seh... That one power lahx... Pheobe got a suprise BD by the shop and got whip cream allllll over her face... hahaaaaa....

Last day was talent-time and I dance Sorry-sorry... so malu... ok... Whatever... The camp ended... and I love my OG... GO GEIR!!! Made nice friends like ShangYu from ID... I am joining Inter-Fac floorball when I don even know how to play... but she is teaching meee :)) and then My room mate Melody... My PFM pal... Then artira... COol and power lady... Huiling, nice and caring fake freshie... and although the camp wasn't as fun as JJ's one... I thin the OG is much much much more bonded... Thanks GEIR... For making my day!

OUr self-made and self-designed flag!

Me and My SP, TzeYu

GIER!

From top left: Beiyi, HuiLing, Kristine, WeiCheng

Second from left: ShangYu, Melody, XianMei, Chrystal, YeeShuan, Pheobe,ZhengHao

Third from left: YewHan, Shernice, PeiQi, YiLong YingXiang (don you think he got the Lixuan feel?)

Bottom: Darren, Peter, Yoshua

Thanks PEOPLE! Love you!

Sometimes I think it's pretty scary when I look at my schedule for JUNE.

I missed alfred's birthday today because I have to work...
Nitendo still not off the shelves... Hmm... I am buying back from freaking malaysia! who knows when I am going to buy it man.... Hiaz...
So... I am very surprised that I actually went for a shopping spree yesterday and today :)
Very unchracterstic of me... but as much as I expected.... I went window shopping with Veron yesterday while she spends like no tomorrow... haha...
Oh... Cotton on is having sale now that one pair of shorts is only 10 bucks :)
Then we went SMG.... just for a look... it fell short of my expectation... but at least it moved from some ulu ann siang hill to somewhere more well known cine :)

Then I woke up today morning at freakin 7.30 am.... just to go sp to eat mac only to reach there and find out that the mac is closed.... then wanted to go for the YOG training... but can't find the MLT... so... me and my sis with to IMM... -_-''' at 10am in the morning... and today... my turn to spend like no tomorrow... welll.... I am just stocking up for uni you know... haha....

oh... now i am currently in a delima of wether to continued the work at the dental clinic... cause I am afraid I could not catch up... somemore straight into the first week of lesson... I am getting excuse letter to go YOG... rah... means I am going to miss lesson... goodthing it's in the start... then I need to work on mon wed and thurs night... which only left me with tues and fri to study... but the thing is no one in the right mind would study the moment they step foot into uni lahx... so I was thinking maybe I just hang-on unti I feel that I can't take it anymore... since you just need a two week advance notice :)) also uni CCAs usually starts at night and I am blocking out my weekends for CCA too :) hmm.... why do I get the feeling that I am not going to study alot in uni...?

and I think me and yanting must be mad to put raffles hall as our first choice of hostel... being named RAFFLES hall indicates that its not easy to get in... LOL....anyway... I just take this hostel thing naturally lahx... if i get it, I move in... if not... just learn to be a singaporean and squeeze up the 183 with the sci park ppl during peak hours...

And my admission day us next weeeeekkkk.... wonders what they do during admission day.... oh.... and I was reading sei's blog and she was complaining that the biz school ask stupid questions for their camp entry... haha... Hope my Decamp don't ask such stupid questions too :)

Anyway... if Seiyu happen to read this post.... I wanted to tagg... but you don't have a tagboard.... You can just crap all you want.... they will take you in.... you are afterall a student of biz.... and did you participate in any cross fac camp? I registered for Union camp... crapped for their questions and got chosen.... But no one is going with me... :(

Call me out only in JULY.... June is a no way for me.... having course next week and camp the following... haiz.... June is suppose to be a slow down period for me... why is life more hectic than before :)

Oh.... and it's like FINALLY i get to see the YEC ppl tomorrow after so many failed attempts to go for their meetings... :)

My job at Science Park Offically ended yesterday casue I am too lazy to go back on monday... At first I thought I would just walk off without a freaking person other than my supervisor, xingying and my lunchmate knowing... I swear it wasn't intentional... but it ended up with quite a number of people knowing...

Cause half an hour before the end of the day, I wanted to shut down my laptop and returned it back to IT depart... YET... when I was about to shut down, one of my collegue came over and wanted me to print out one of her accounts... So... I was thinking it's going to be a pretty fast thing (cause all you need is to open the doc and click print) and agreed... but it ended up that she wants to edit something too... THEN... my supervisor stood up and said, "HEY, are you going to return the laptop soon? They are going off at 5 today you know?" Then I told him I know... of course I know... Me and XY is always one of the first to leave the office can... And so the collegue who was editing the doc on my behalf was like "Huh? Not 31st meh?" Then I shook my head... Then another one came... and want me to do some editing for her... so she also ended up knowing... Then my sup was actually discussing something with another person whom happens to be working with me too... so she also ended up knowing... and they were shocked that yesterday was my last day... cause before that I told them it's 31st May... so in the end... my 默默走掉 became 轰动走掉... -_-''' Well... at the very end I indeed mo mo zou diao lahx... with XingYing.... Cause we left earlier than 5...

So... GOODBYE to Ascendas... Well... we might meet again few years down the road... who knows ;)

And I don't know if I should be happy or sad that I am leaving... Cause I like my job and I can say I am pretty lucky to get one with good environment... Cause the OLs around me are complaining about their office... yupx... I have nothing to complain about... and my supervisor is actually a pretty nice guy :)

Oh... so I was happy leaving cause I was thinking YEAH! can sleep liaox! No need to wake up at 7 liaox! Can relax at home liaox! and.... You know wad... barely one hour after I left the office for my last day... Q&M called.... and told me that I have to work next week everyday 9am to 9pm.... HELLO! I was just so so so so happy that I finally can get sleep and watch my PPLive and now you are asking me to work longer hours a day!!! My previous office work is like from 8.45 to 5.45 and now? 9-9... WHAT THE - Nightmare... (oh... if you are wondering what the hell I wrote for my status on facebook... I am referring to this...)

So... plans for next week dissappear into puff of smoke.... :((( I was thinking of getting my nitendo next week... :(( I was like wanting to buy since like... erm... last december? It's like half a year gone liaox lahx! Then I was thinking of going retail therapy with Veron... then I was thinking of packing my table, clearing my wardrobe... go swimming, start slimming down ya-da ya-da ya-da.... AND NOW? *poof!* GONE!

I know I did say I will not give up play for work anymore... but they really need help... cause the person going back malaysia...

oh veron... I am so sorry :(

OH people... SHALL WE GO GENTING IN JULY???

我知道这一点都不对
但我相信一个人的性格是两种因素造成的
第一是环境
我内向的个性是环境造成的
小学的我并不内向
长大的我很内向
这是环境。

第二是基因
别人批评我的个性当然可以
但传给我这基因的人凭什么批评我
你们不是也都拥有这些性格吗？

是呀。我什么都不会。
是呀。我做事不主动。
那我会的时候，我做事主动的时候你在哪？你有看到吗？
为什么人类只能看到他人的缺点而不是优点呢？
可能我一点优点都没有
但你何必一而再再而三的批评我？
你对我要求虽然不高
但你奖励我时候我几乎记不起来了

你知不知道一个孩子需要鼓励和批评
如果一个孩子被批评的比例是是十比一
你知不知道这对她的信心有多大的打击吗？
她虽然不说但她信心一次一次的被你打碎
请问她到了外头哪来的信心啊!

我也想做一个坚强的女人
我更想独立
但我情绪一点都不稳定
怎么坚强？

一个坚强的人是不会应许自己掉眼泪的
我很努力的让自己不掉泪
但却发现那一点也不容易

家庭问题谁没有
算我幼稚不懂事吧
但今天我真的把心情写出来了
我知道你是为我好
但我真的很难受。

I think it's hard to say a sorry with sincerity... I can say a quick sorry when I bump into a person (well.... I am really sorry) I can say sorry to a patient for making them wait so damn long cause the doc is so damn slow (but that's customer service)... The word sorry comes out of my mouth pretty easily... But when I want to say a sorry which I really really mean it... it's as difficult as reaching the skies. The sorry with sincerity... The type of sorry that I really want to say don't really come out.... It never came out at all... Since secondary school... I have always wanted to say this sorry to a friend of mine... But it never came out... Now that we have lost touch... or even if we meet again, I don't know where to start... Yesterday... I wanted to say sorry to someone... but it just won't come out... I really want to... I hope it wasn't because of me that she wants to resign... I know I did something really bad yesterday... but... I AM SORRY.

Life. Enjoy while you have it. I realised that since I started office work... I don't know what is play. Meetings are rejected because I have WORK. Events and activities are rejected because I have WORK. Things that I have always wanted to do is being pushed back because of WORK. I don't know what made me slow down and think... But now, I have decided that... Enjoy life while I have it. I would never again reject any meeting, activities and push back any important things because of work. Working, for now, is not a dorminant part of my life. Although you would be happy when you see your salary come in... But afterall... I have always been saying... money is not the main reason why I am working... So why did I push away life for work? This is the last time you can really enjoy life to the fullest... Why dominate it with work?

I think I a very efficient worker... Muahaha... Cause today I ended work 15mins ealier cause they are unable to find things for me to do... -_-''' Well... this makes me think that maybe they would wanna terminate the contract early O.0.

Dosen't matter anyway... Haha... cause my 出发点 wasn't for the money in the first place... I just want to see how it feels to be busy.... and I really mean tired and busy.... try rushing here and there after work...

Till today... NO LETTER :(( super sianed.... I wanna go NTU!!!! Rah... 随天意吧!

Oh... Motive for this post... Song lyric...


五月天- 咸鱼

我是一只咸鱼 不想承认也不能否认
不要同情我笨 又夸我天真 还梦想着翻身
咸鱼就算翻身 还是只咸鱼输得也诚恳
至少到最后我还有咸鱼 不腐烂的自尊

我没有任何天分 我却有梦的天真
我是傻不是蠢 我将会证明用我的一生

我如果有梦 有没有错 错过才会更加明白 明白坚持是什么
我如果有梦 梦要够疯 够疯才能变成英雄 总会有一篇我的传说

我不好也不坏 不特别出众 我只是敢不同
我的人生就是一错再错 错完了再重头
也许放弃掉一些 活得更轻松 我却不再是我
我不愿一生晒太阳吹风 咸鱼也要有梦

我没有任何天分 我却有梦的天真
我是傻不是蠢 我将会证明用我的一生

我如果有梦 有没有错 错过才会更加明白 明白坚持是什么
我如果有梦 梦要够疯 够疯才能变成英雄 总会有一篇我的传说


你们了解我为何喜欢五月天吗？
看了歌词有特别的感觉吗？
我有。。。
他们那生活化的歌词
我非常喜欢。。。
不像那些你爱我 我爱你 的歌词
而是唱到我心里去的歌词
咸鱼是我非常喜欢的歌
但他们有更多很好听的歌
让你慢慢欣赏。。。

个人推荐：
-疯狂世界 （我好想好想飞 逃离这个疯狂世界。。。）
-心中尚未崩溃的地方
-憨人
-放肆
- 终结孤单
-笑忘歌
-春天的呐喊

Of course there are love songs that are nice... I might just put portion of these lyrics at the right side of my blog.... HOHOH... ok...

Ok... this is abit over liaoz... But the only reason I like MAYDAY is because I think their song lyrics are damn interesting... Sick and tired of Love songs... so their songs sure make in hit in me... =S

Oh... If you read the papers... JJ LIN, STEF SUN, TANYA CHUA and A-DO sang a song for the Singapore Expo Hall in ShangHai (i suppose) called 感动每一刻. Erm... According to the papers, this song is suppose to 鼓励 and 加油... but... it sound to me like a love song... and... although I know the expo is in CHINA.... but... I don't think there is a need to make the song 中国风 you know... but they did say one thing correctly... catchy chorous... :) but the 4 Singers 默契 not very good :( Show you the video :)



That's all for today :)
PS: STEF is gorgeous... Tanya looks abit... ADO looks suitable being a contractor... HOHOH... and is JJ a tourist photographer??? LOL... I shall not comment on JJ cause I would be bias... btw... anyone knows why on earth is he in Singapore this coming sunday??? My guess... Transfer plane from Melbourne... shun bian go home and see family and get together with friends...

CAUTION: THIS IS GOING TO BE A SUPER LONG POST... ;)

Well... 2 weeks since I updated my blog... Yet there is so many things that happened in this two week period... :) So this is going to be a super long post...

To start off... Work.. My second and third week of work is ok... But this week is totally difficult to pull though due to the accumulated lack of sleep due to Chalet and OSIM... Like I always tell people... I used to wake up at 10am but now I need to wake up 3 hrs earlier... Then you go to work and stare at the computer looking at the same thing over and over again... It's pretty boring you see... But I am pretty statisfied with my job to be honest... I am not going to complain about it anyway... except for me still not having any friends to have lunch with... So lonely :( Not that I don't want to make friends but just that the people there are already in cliques and there is an age gap between us... And being a SUPER big department... It's normal that you will make friends with people around your area first... And you know what... People around my area can just live with air... Yup...they are THIS busy... And also because I am a total introvert lahx... :( And coming to think of it... For the past 1 week, I haven't been to Q&M... Cause I gave my sessions @ boonlay to QIN and told JE I not going this wed and then kena sacked by JP... yup... But next week going to work at JE on WED and SAT... So I am still an active worker in Q&M :)

Next, OSIM. OSIM was... .... .... SUPER HOT! Why does everyone have a shade to hide in yet I don't! Well... not really lahx... I do have a shade... But the shade is across the road... and if I stand there... I might as well not marshal... Cause the cyclist won't be about to see me... yup... So my only shade is the shadow of trees... But by 10 or 11am... the shadow went to the track... and out of my reach... SO I am the most burnt out of all... Anyway... the ELite race is super cool :) Got wind blow past one lehx... Haha... And stupid me... Went barefooted on the road cause I don't want to have slipper tan lines on my feet (but in the end I still have) and got a huge blister... RAHHH.... So I bought a bai ka to chalet... Yup... Haha...

Dead, tired and burnt out... I went to chalet... You know... I still work from 9 to 9 at Clementi on Sat... The chalet was... .... Urm... Yah... BBQ? Failed... YOu don't know how much I was lookng forward for the BBQ... Activities? Do they even have? Haha... Watch Hairspay.... This is the very first time I watched TV during a chalet.... went bowling but alleys are full... went pool but tables are full... so ended up going to arcade... WAHSEH... I found a super NICE game to play... but it's also SUPER ex... 2 bucks per game... but got 3 stage... It's called JUBEAT :) VERY VERY FUN... I was laughing like mad when jiawei and veron was playing... haha... Being tired and burnt out... I wanted to sleep... So I slept but they are playing cards and so damn noisy... and I woke up and scolded them :X... Didn't meant to... But I really wanted to sleep... Second day... huimin and the others left before me... cause I wanted to cycle... Yanting also don't want to leave early... but... After lunch... the two couples actually went back to SLEEP!!! Haiz... Played Mahjiong with Alf and wenhui... While veron and jiawei slept... haiz... I should have known it and left with Huimin they all... but I don't want to go home early... :( Then alf actually played mahjong until he sleep... *roll eye* Yah... Then actually me and yanting wanted to take the 6 pm bus but missed it and ended up taking the 7pm one... :) Anyway... Yanting is a super nice person to talk with =D

Then yesterday... MAYDAY concert! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!!!!

WOOTS!!! Nice... but not worth the money :( I freaking spent 171 bucks and then get blocked by 2 super tall guys from I don't know where... It's was a phew that my height is above average there... if not i might just resort to looking at the screen... People from I don't know where... But definitely behind us... came infront during the concert... because there are gaps between rows for convinience purpose... But these people simply just ran infront during the concert and block my view... SUPER 不爽！If not I could get a very good view while sitting!!! Then due to having 2 stage, they sometimes go to the second stage and then this people will run to the back... Then be and QIN and the two girls infront simply stand at the middle blocking them from coming back.... Yet they are super good at squeezing their way through... should pick up rugby and block the hell out of them... It's super unfair where you are sitting behind us and yet you come to the front blocking our view... and they still got the cheek to ask if they can go infront (this are the more polite ones some simply just squeeze their way through) I am very very tempted to write a letter of complaint... They should cordon off the area... But yes... it's very high... I was sweating like mad on a cool night... And they are also sweating like mad... until MASA simply just take the towel and ruffle his hair like he his drying his hair after a shower... Everyone is sweating like mad lahx... And they said they were very happy at first that they can get the concert outdoor... but they are regretting abit because it's too hot... they never thought it's going to be this hot... Haha... They said that the past few concerts they did it indoor and they want to rock the rooftop of indoor stadium off... now they don't have a roof... they want to rock SHE's rooftop off... HAha... no lahx... :) They rock... MAYDAY really rock the house until the floor was vibrating non-stop...yah.... EarthQUAKE!!! haha... Yet... a super gross thing... remember standard chartered? History repeated itself yesterday... MUD engulfed my shoe.... GROSS!!!!

Oh... and Veron... Do you remember the lady that gave us a name card during NTU open house while we are taking the bus to clementi? The club or society is there as urshers... But I didn't see the lady lahx... I was already thinking of joining the club if I get myself into NTU... but now... I am more tempted to... C'mon man! Mayday concert lehx... and maybe other events too :)
And one interesting thing... While we are queing up to by some concert soviniers, my mum called... And you know she said? She asked if the concert is cancelled.... I was like ??? why would it be cancelled? No rain, no thunder, no lighting... everything looks super fine to me... So I told her no... no one mentioned about cancelling concert and there are hell lots of people queing everywhere... Then she said my dad said it's cancelled... So i thought he heard it on radio or news or something... But in the end he said... Mayday called up his company to get people down to fix the generator and I think borrow the generator cause it's not working... Without a generator... you can never get a concert done... Anyway... everything went smoothly afterall... even though there are some technical faults... Yup...

One more thing... you guys won't believe who I saw yesterday man... Cause I was leaving in a hurry, i didn't manage to take a picture with her :( My sis friend is like waiting outside for us... I saw Ms Chew Xin-Wei... Econs Chew... In a Mayday concert?????????? Well... At least she now looks super healthy to me... Good thing... good thing.... And I saw her... I suppose boyfriend... Haha... Haiz... too bad I didn't manage to take a pic with her... :(

Although they say they want to sing later than SHE and yet they didn't. Although they say that they wouldn't allow us to go unless we are totally drenched in sweat but they didn't. But...

queing on and forever to get into the stadium :)

Check out the stage! The LCD is very the small... Haha..

Not of good quality too...

Blue Light Stick :) Very nice in a night when everyone is using it :)

During the concert... Was concentrating on watching the concert

So I didn't take much pics... :)

Check out MAYDAY's version of bumble-bee :)

MAYDAY... KEEP ROCKING ON!

PS: I can't believe it took me 2 hours to write this post...

My first day to work was... OK... but I could understand my friends feeling on a peak hour bus or train... Haha...

Woke up at freaking 6.15 in the morning... And realised I was too early for work when I reached there... Diaoz... 6.15am is earlier than school wake up time for me... Zzz... So... Jurong being pretty inacessible... I had to walk to Lakeside MRT station... Take the freaking squeezy train to Clementi and then rush (like a typical Singapore Auntie) to board the 183 into Science Park... I almost got 'kiap' but the bus door can... LOL.... and when I alighted... I found out that I didn't tap my card... -_-''' So I hitched a free ride to work on the first day!

Reached there, found my way by directly asking the info counter... And time check... 8.20am.... i am suppose to report at 8.45... So I went to their cafeteria and stone... 8.45 went back and then the HR person... Made me wait until 9 plus cause she was caught in a jam... Rah... You know... time=money??? Hence, by the time I was introduced to the finance department, it was like... 10am?

My first impression of my supervisor is 'Office Politics' He simply looks like some person who would stab you on the back one day... Phew... I am just a temp staff... Got briefed on what to do and ya-da ya-da.... I got a table of my own! :) Eh... forgot to mention... when I walked into the finance department, my thoughts were... 'Pri school staff room' and the whoel department was using Excel.... Not suprising... So I got a table with my name--> not really my table... Cause the table I was supposed to be at was stacked with A4 papers and files... So they just dump me to a table... and a personal Laptop... :)

Then... Cause the work i was suppose to do is not in YET.... the person got me something to do... And for that whole of yesterday.... I was revising Econs (international trade i suppose)... with current accounts, financial statements, credit risk appearing... I was like... Hmm... so this is where Econs is of good use... Yup... and numbers and more numbers.... Rah.... I would never wanna be an accountant in my life man...

Then... I was supposed to leave at 5.45 as stated in the contract... but I left the place at 6.20! And my dad was supposed to drive me to work... but... due to our lack of communication... He was waiting for me at Science Park 1 and I am at Science Park 2! So we were arguing on the phone and I was screaming saying that the bus stop only has 183 and he was screaming his bus stop only has bus 92. In the end... I gave up and decided to take a taxi down... Actually it's my fault that I gave him the wrong add... Instead of 61 science park road... I gave him 71 science park road... BUT i did told him that I am in Science Park II.... rah....

So... I flagged a taxi at peak hour... I am pretty lucky to be able to get one is quite a short time... Cause you know that area pretty ulu and taxis don really go there lahx... And then by the time I board the freakinf cab... it's already 6.45... And what time was I suppose to reach the clinic? 6.30pm.... 完了！But also lucky for me... The AYE wasn't Jammed and I managed to reach the clinic at 7 pm... Thanks to the cab uncle rushing his way and drive pass an orange light(hope he didn't get fined by doing that)... Then when I reached, the doc still not here yet... Phew.... But even if I am late, the doc won't care lahx... but just that my supervisor will eruption... :X


That's the end of my chaotic day on April FOoL...

Afterall... The job was pretty ok... At least I wasn't thinking about why the time is crawling or wanting to go home... but I felt like I was in antartica and feeling sleepy...

Oh... And today... I read this book or brochure i got from my letter box and it reminded me of Huimin telling me about this global warming chapter she read in Freakonomics... Carbon Dioxide is NOT the only gas that is causing global warming! And even if we cut down CO2 emission, it would not help much as predicted or told... What we need to cut down is METHANE gas which traps 74times more heat than Carbon Dioxide... and is abundant in Agricultural sector... Like your pig, cow, goat, chicken...

So... if you really want to make a difference in global warming and save the earth, Eat further down the food chain (or rather just eat the producers which are our plants). Turn Vegetarian. But if you are a meat lover like me... You might just try cutting down meat intake alittle by a little... I am planning to eat vegetarian 3 times a week... See whether can tahan anot... HAha... Oh... and the book say you will get good Karma too... by not killing animals... Which I think it's pretty rubbish... haha... eh... The book also said something like... If the whole world start eating vegetarian, the world condition would improve in 60 days... That's like SO FAST!

Tennis is fun. But it is also as tiring... Went for sports session at RP on Monday and came back with a sun burn... It's like a pretty long time since I had a sun-burn, BUT the game was damn fun. Next time if you wanna play tennis, try it out with the elastic ball first... It beats playing with a real human being because you would end up picking up balls, believe me... Playing with an elastic one is good in a way that how much strenght you place on the ball is how much strength you get back... and you don have to pick up balls... So me and my sis had this mini squash session using a tennis elastic... it's pretty fun but tiring... damn tiring... imagine hitting balls for hours and in the after 10am sun...

We played basketball after that... by then the 12pm sun is really burning and I couldn't take it anymore... so we ended and went for a wash-up. TIRED... it was like so hot that when I came out of the shower I was already starting to sweat... then... 好死不死... when we left, it starting raining... I need to go bugis for the contract... so I took the train... and came out of bugis to see RAINING CATS AND DOGS! So went to get money to take cab. Then super sway, cannot get cab, and then called up the office and told them I would be late. Another 15mins later, get fed up and called up again to ask if there is any sheltered walkway... But when I reach there, the rain has lessen so much that i just decide to walk in the rain to SHAW tower... reach the office, 狼狈的样子... I think I left a bad first impression... so signed contract and throw my bombs (but didn't manage to get the type of ans that I was looking for) and then decided to skip work for the night... Haiz... One hour so sunny like going to melt, another hour rain like mad and so humid... WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WEATHER NOWADAYS!

Yesterday, I woke up aching all over... and my legs felt like thet weigh a thousand tons... my leg feels like it does not belong to me... HAHA... I was like dragging it while I walk... and come to think of it, the last time I had this kind of serious aches is after a demonous netball training in Sec school... and my arms are also aching like some shit lah... I can't even lift my arms (after effect of a long tennis game). BUT... It's really fun... TENNIS.

Tomorrow is first day of work... HONEST... I am very excited... Cause I am working for a land, estate company which I suppose i cannot tell the name (according to the contract) and this might be a good chance to see if I would really wanna do Project Facilities Management in NUS... :)

即期待又害怕受伤害...

FINALLY!
I got my blogskin out.... Hmm... Although not very nice... BUT at least its a good first try I think!
Well... How do you guys think about my new skin?

Anyway... Actually I am just trying out my typing speed... haha... Cause I went to an interview and the person actually asked me how fast I type... And I replied pretty fast... Now coming to think of it... I don't really type fast... HAHA... I can type fast... but will have hell lots of typo... Diaoz... Beat the purpose.... HAHA.... While in case you guys don't know... I got myself another job! Whee.... Although it's pretty impromtu and it makes people wonder is this some april fool joke... but I think I will be fine for that job... just 2 months and you will have cash raining in your bank... HAHAA.... While... As to details... I am not sure too... I think I am going down to sign the contract like tomorrow? Anyone has any advise to what i should look out for? And wait till I am truely sure that I am not an April's fool... I shall wait till I start work before boosting on and on about my 'to-be' work... HAHA...

Anyway... I think I am going to be a very problematic employee... Cause I got the dental job that I don't i will be quitting... you know... I still need income in june and when school reopens especially if i wanna stay in a hostel... So I was thinking of negotiating with the person... Will I get chopped for this? then work one week and I have a class chalet... so have to take 1 or 2 days off.... better not take the risk of getting fired on my first day... so if she is unwilling to give me a leave which is highly possible... I might just skip the class chalet... NOOOOOO!!!! I wanna go! Sobs.... Super sian...

Hmm... Should I add an event calendar here? Hmm.... not that I will read anyway.... Well then I shall not... But i can update you guys so that you won waste your message...

030410: Work @ clementi
040410: ShaoMu
100410: Work @clementi
110410: OSIM international Triathlon
120410: Class Chalet @ Parsir Ris
130410: Class Chalet@ Parsir Ris
170410: MAYDAY concert

so... no time no time... Maybe April is going to be the month I really get a great taste of how life is like... BUSY... 充实的生活:)

AND.... I missed JJ's auto or rather 背对背拥抱+拍照会 and JJ PARTY @ SCAPE... strictly speaking... not miss... just that I chose not to go... Like I say... i am no crazy FAN of his... 纯粹的欣赏... but also cause nobody wanna go with me... Sobbbssss.....

Well... That's all.... I just wanna give my typing skills and speed a test... but i think it barely make the mark... LOL.... And if anyone loves my blogskin... I am willing to share... you can get the template from me.... which i don't think anyone will like... But if anyone thinking of doing your own skin... I could help... 一回生二回熟嘛！哈哈...

Beiyii is currently doing a personal project...
Hence she wouldn't be updating her blog during this period of time...
She hopes she could finish this project by 20th March...
Until then...
Unless it's important or too interesting a stuff...
She wouldn't be updating her blog...

尽请期待... A brand new look :)
I am such a spoiler... :(
HAHA

I remember last year I was doing a GP paper (forgot the school name) and there is this question.

"Why are we learning history when it keeps repeating itself?" At that time I thought that's a pretty cool and interesting question. Now... it's even more intersting for I am the one experiencing the scenario.

I am too fickle-minded a person that I hardly like to make any choices especially important choices... But life is all about choices... Like what my love always likes to say... The choice is yours... I remember barely 3 months ago... I was so insistent that I want to take up physiotherapy... I WAS so insistent... I don't give a damn what my friends and teachers said about a poly education after A's... And physiotherapy was actually the goal that keeps pushing me throughout the two years in my JC life... As you know... People work for a goal... And my goal... WAS a scholarship in Physiotherapy... That WAS my goal all along since I graduated from JVS... That WAS my goal... I want to be a allied health professional...

Noticed that I used WAS? Because... Now... It isn't... Maybe because I had too much time to settle and think about optimistic and pessimistic views of my all along goal... This goal started to lose it's stand last year, I noticed... While my friends are busy surfing uni websites for their courses... I was so determined and told them... I am taking physiotherapy in NYP... I have no intention at all to take up any uni courses for god's sake... Some gave me a why-do-you-want-to-go-poly face... while the more understanding ones would say... just go with your interest... This goal or dream stood rooted through my JC 1 and half way through JC2... It started to shake... Not literally of course...

About aug (I only noticed until then), suddenly... I felt the need to open up to alternatives... I cannot just put my head into a hole and not care about the outside... if you know I meant... and it strucked me that my parents did not know about me wanting to go poly... Usually they don't interfere with my life or the choice I make... but they clearly wanted me to get into a Uni... Then... I felt the need to open up... physiotherapy may be what you wanted... but not what you really want... people's preference and interest changes.... yours may also change... That's what I told myself... But back then... all that was in my mind was A levels A levels and A levels... maybe because I lost my goal in life... I had no mood or no motivation to study... Everything went into the immunity stage... Coming to think of the post-prelim period where I have totally no motivation to study... everyday seems to be a great torture... everyday I need to force myself to do TYS, tutorials read my notes... It wasn't like the past where I sometimes like to study... I like to do my tutorials... the post-prelim period... everything was forced... it wasn't voluntary... it might be because I lost my north-star... I lost my direction... my goal... People are driven by a goal... When they lost it... it's hard to be motivated...

After the As.... of course I have hell lots of time to sit and think, think and think and let my imagination run wild... Then... I noticed a fear in me... I like risk-taking people... but I am not a risk-taker... I am a typical 保守singaporean... It strucked me... What if I regret halfway through my course? Being in such a specific course... it's not easy to turn away as compared to if you have a general degree... Won't I be living in hell? Being too late to turn back and no point going forward.. what if I regret? I was surprised... I never thought I would regret taking up physiotherapy... I always thought that was what I really want in life... That's the job i want... That was how much passion I HAD... I don't know what factors caused it to change... caused it's standing in my heart to change... but it did... it really did... It became a choice... Not a dream...

I was lost and confused... I didn't get good results to start off with... So... There wasn't many uni courses that I am able to get into... I talked to my sec sch teacher... I talked to my cousin... I talked to my doctor (yes... to that extend) I tried to get the correct and more sounding advises... And Miss Chua and My cousin made the most sense out of everything... They together cleared the mist totally... Everything became clear... I decided not to take up physio... Not because I no longer have passion for it... but it's because I am afriad of regret... You cannot afford to regret... And being 18... looking beyond what's in front of you is what you should be doing... and being 18... you might someday change your goal in life again... you are barely 1/4 through life...

What do I really want? I want to look into the future... My future...

我相信上天是公平的
它会给你机会
但只是一次机会
因为它需要给太多人机会了
它很忙
它不会在意你有没有把握这机会
只要它有给你就是了
当它给了你机会你却没把握
那你要等很久之后机会才会再来到你身边

我两年前得到了我的机会
但却没有好好的把握
我希望它会再来
但我知道机会渺茫


我是一个悲观的人
绝对不是那种你说一两句我就能放下我的忧郁
这让我更害怕某天的来临
在我还没有完全认识恐怖的自己之前
我真的害怕某天的到来
而那某天即将来临
我感觉到了恐怖的自己即将重生
虽然答应了自己不要再让那野兽出现
但我害怕我控制不了我飘浮不定的情绪

我想控制这支野兽
但我时间不多了
我不知道我到底做不做的到

但你们可以放下千万颗心
我是不会有事的
因为我是个窝囊废
连该有的勇气都没有
所以即使野兽出现
我并不会怎样
只是会有那种念头

但如果我突然有了勇气
请你们不要生气
不要伤心
不要担心
因为那毕竟是我‘选择’的路

Dr Raymond Lim is a pretty nice guy...:) But he is abit like wad JinZhao said... Sort sort one... Yesterday was the first time i met him... but he treated us to food and drinks... That's ok cause Mdm Seetoh does that too... But he even help me with SAP and CAP.... And this stupid me thought that staff needs to pay money... but in the end.... no need.... I always thought it's special discount or something like that lahx.... Yah lolx...

And yesterday I found out that I got 4 decayed tooth! OMG!!!! I brush everyday can!!! And I thought it was just a normal SAP but in the end he also help me with a CAP... Yah... 4 decayed tooth! 晴天霹雳! it's not that I don't brush... and I got gums inflamation lehx... Phew... it's a good thing i let him do a check up... if not all my teeth is going to die liao... next time you see me in dentures... HAHA....

Anyway... Dr Raymond is very nice doctor.... he was joking throughout and we did chat... haha... Not much doctor chat with their staff... and yesterday was the first time I assited the doctor cause the dental assistant was on the chair doing the SAP... and one thing 手忙脚乱.... I don't know all the things and any thing... haha... I think that leaves a bad impression of me for him.... haha...

So I came back and told my sis this doctor is abit of over-friendly... and then her comment was... not friendly you also complain... over friendly you also complain.... hahah.... I think I am a complain queen.... WHeee.... I hope to see him again... and this time maybe thank him in a more sincre way... cause I only said a thank you yesterday for the much he do.... HAHA...

New Year wasn't as bad as i thought it would be... but something unbelievable is that I fell asleep in my grandma house... haha... while listening to Mayday's song... Can you believe? It's mayday's song!! They are suppose to be high and rock... I think I was really tired that day... haha... then day 2 I went to my uncle house... and then watch the 百万小学堂... I was like OMG! I can't even answer simple questions... haha... No face man... A-level graduate leh.... Cannot ans pri school questions... Sobs... I need to start eating up my books... Haha... Jk lahx... But it's time to start the engines going... :)

Oh... did I mention before my nephew is damn cute? I find him cuter this time round I saw him... Baby Nathaniel (I supposed its spelt like that) I shall put the pics up next post which is like donno when... HAHAHA! My niece also very cute... But she is not photogenic and I realise that Grace(my niece) looks like Kerning(my doctor's daugther) and Grace seldom talk... But when she talk her voice is damn cute! Kids mahx... Haha... And she don't cry... Cause that time at my grandma house... the dad call her go take drink for him... then she take the wrong one... the everyone around the table was like OOOOO.... then she immediately run to the father and hug him... if it's other kids i think cry liao... she is like only 2... haha... Back to Nathaniel.... He looks totally like his dad.... but much cuter version... and he looks like he walked out of some cartoon.... he got a very cartoon face... and he like to stick his tongue out(DAMN CUTE!) So day 2 i was busy taking pic of him... but i didn't manage to get ANY pic with him looking at the camera!!! Everytime I snap.. he turn away... haha... also because my camera is slow... zzzzz.....

Ok... My purpose for today's post.... Make a guess... well.... I said I won't blog about work cause it's full of complains... and I just met one 2 days ago... if you wanna know and hear me talk on and on... you can ask me out of a lunch or a dinner... But you must be quick... cause I will forget about the incident soon... recently have dementia symptoms... Haha...

Yah... Purpose... I always talk on and on without getting straight to point I found out... haha.... the first paragraph is usually not my main topic... LOL.... THIS IS NOT GP!!! Diaoz.... Ok Ok.... Purpose of this post... I am putting a video here... That's all! Haha... No need to make a guess wad video you guys should also know lahx... Who else's video would I put up here... Haha...

Here it goes....



Eh... This is a disgrace as a fan... but till now then I know that JJ's Sirname is LIM and not LIN.... although I have always thought it was LIM cause not alot of ppl in singapore with sirname 林 spelt as LIN more are LIM or LAM.... yah.... So... There is also a period of time I am wondering if his sir name was LAM.... But the WAYNE I knew it all along... It was in his IC. Not that I've seen it before... But I just know lahx... Wayne is his registered name.... So now I know that his sirname is splet as LIM... I am wondering... How his name is spelt.... LIM JUNJIE? LIM CHUNKIAT? --> You know... Ppl of his era don't use han yu pin yin... Ok... Wait... Why am I wondering all this lameo things???

And I feel like buying his gai ban... I shouldn't have bought the first one... I know I would regret... but I just don't want to download his songs illegally and I can't wait until now lahx... Haiz... and the gai ban one look so attractive.... Sobs... Should I buy? oh... and can some one accompany me to his auto session? I want his signature.... the last time I got is was like... 2005? or 2006... I can't even remember.... WAHHHAAAA....

I know i said barely one week ago that I won't update my blog on work cause it's all going to be complains... But this time I can't help it... I would never ever wanna work sat at JE branch anymore... Kaoz... Is busy until pi pi cua lah.... Haiz... and the person there the face like just came out from a toilet full of shit can... I don't like her the moment she opened her mouth.... Hmm... Now I know how first impression of someone works... But I am not going to swear here that I won't work JE sat... cause No.1 I am going next sat (hope it is going to be the last sat) and there might be days in the future that I have no choice... I am not going to accept anymore saturday work with 3 doctors!!!

Anyway... I donno why is there a sudden urge to blog about this particular incident... Yah... I think I too bored liao... And I bought a new shoe!!! WHeeee.... it's flats... Is ppl's jaws dropping? Haha... don think so lahx... But i can see the 女大18变effect on me now... NOOOOOO..... Cause this year my CNY clothes are all dress and skirt.... OMG! *Faints*